The Old Scout

Garrison Keillor's weekly newspaper column.

Complete Archives

• A Parent's Prayer (06/29/2010)
  
• Not Smart? Not a Problem (06/22/2010)
  
• The Miracle of Shared Pleasure (06/15/2010)
  
• Hanging Out With the College Crowd (06/08/2010)
  
• A Great Nation Immobilized (06/01/2010)
  
• The End of an Era in Publishing (05/25/2010)
  
• The Care and Feeding of U.S. Senators (05/18/2010)
  
• A Farewell to a Gentle Swede (05/11/2010)
  
• Hullabaloo in Times Square (05/04/2010)
  
• Fact and Fiction (04/27/2010)
  
• The Silent Brotherhood (04/20/2010)
  
• Vanilla Can Be a Flavor to Savor (04/13/2010)
  
• On the Job (04/06/2010)
  
• Hopes (and Doubts) Bloom With Spring (03/30/2010)
  
• A Toast to Your Hroth (03/23/2010)
  
• When the Solution Is Worse Than the Problem (03/09/2010)
  
• An Early Whiff of Spring (03/02/2010)
  
• Unreality Is the Current Reality (02/23/2010)
  
• It's Just a Matter of (Free) Time (02/16/2010)
  
• Get to Work, Democrats (02/09/2010)
  
• Let Us Recombobulate (01/26/2010)
  
• Note to Tea Partiers: Wake up and Smell the Coffee (01/19/2010)
  
• Renouncing Evil Powers and Anonymity (01/12/2010)
  
• Floating Village Provides the Good Life (01/05/2010)
  
• Keep Chasing the Wildebeest (12/29/2009)
  
• A Christmas Angel From Nebraska (12/22/2009)
  
• The Christmas Dividend (12/15/2009)
  
• A Little Christmas Joy and a Lot of New York Attitude (12/08/2009)
  
• Truth of Christmas Being Put to the Test (12/01/2009)
  
• A Celebration of Simple Goodness (11/24/2009)
  
• Art Appreciation (11/17/2009)
  
• Republican Senators Need an Exchange of Peace (11/10/2009)
  
• Life's Variety Pack (11/03/2009)
  
• When the Tough Should Get Going (11/03/2009)
  
• Coffee With an Old Grumbler (10/20/2009)
  
• Petulance and the Peace Prize (10/13/2009)
  
• Quality Health Care for All ... Even Republicans (10/06/2009)
  
• Stuck in the Shallows (09/29/2009)
  
• All the Rage (09/22/2009)
  
• Nice 67 Y.O. Male Has Brush With Mortality (09/15/2009)
  
• Vetting the Health Care Issue (09/01/2009)
  
• Wandering London: to stop, to stare, to compare (08/25/2009)
  
• A Postcard From the Back of the Line (08/18/2009)
  
• The Swashbucklers of the New Media (08/11/2009)
  
• The Art of Travel (07/28/2009)
  
• The Call of the Highway (From a Cell Phone) (07/21/2009)
  
• The Beauty of Ordinariness (07/14/2009)
  
• Health-Care Issues Await the Sausage Mill (07/07/2009)
  
• Unalienable Rights Include Decent Potato Salad (06/30/2009)
  
• Fortress of Solitude (06/23/2009)
  
• Road-Tripping on Father's Day (06/16/2009)
  
• The Angel's Cocktail (06/09/2009)
  
• An Uplifting Performance (06/02/2009)
  
• A Tale of Two Cities (05/26/2009)
  
• Stop the (Trouser) Presses! (05/19/2009)
  
• We Are What We Are (05/12/2009)
  
• Drama for Mama (05/05/2009)
  
• Retribution vs. Restoration (04/28/2009)
  
• Strange New World (04/21/2009)
  
• The Poet Gets the Girl (04/14/2009)
  
• The Poetry of Spring (03/24/2009)
  
• Victims of Class Warfare (03/17/2009)
  
• Disabilities and Delusions (03/10/2009)
  
• The Delicate Art of Brotherly Love (03/03/2009)
  
• Cold Comfort (02/24/2009)
  
• Upward and Onward (02/17/2009)
  
• The Care and Feeding of Ex-Celebrities (02/10/2009)
  
• Appreciation for a Great Appreciator (02/03/2009)
  
• Inner Tranquility and Unread Books (01/27/2009)
  
• A Day to Remember (01/20/2009)
  
• She Saw Her Pale Reflection in the Window (01/13/2009)
  
• The Perils and Joys of Self-Esteem (01/06/2009)
  
• Paris is a Fine Place to Wait Out the Big Belch (12/30/08)
  
• The Blessings of Dumb Childlike Wonder (12/23/08)
  
• How an Airplane Toilet Can Ruin Your Life (12/16/08)
  
• Christmas in New York: Merry and Muscular (12/09/08)
  
• The Perils of Public Passsion (12/02/08)
  
• Cutting Costs in a Tough Economy (11/25/08)
  
• The Secret of Happiness (11/18/08)
  
• Sitting On Top of the World (11/11/08)
  
• A Few Words for the Happy Couple (11/04/08)
  
• The Skinny Guy's Time Has Arrived (10/28/08)
  
• Looking Out for Abilene (10/21/08)
  
• Let the Leader Lead (10/14/08)
  
• The Best of Times, the Worst of Times (10/07/08)
  
• In Sunny Santa Monica, A New Appreciation of Life (09/30/08)
  
• When Gimlet Eyes Look the Other Way (09/23/08)
  
• Moose on the Loose in Palin Country (09/16/08)
  
• The Bums Try an End Run (09/09/08)
  
• Misdirection in Minnesota (09/02/08)
  
• Rolling with the Punches (08/27/08)
  
• A Sunday at the State Fair (08/20/08)
  
• How to Cleanse America (08/13/08)
  
• The Old Man's Technical Foul (08/06/08)
  
• No Time for Dithering (07/30/08)
  
• Summer Civility (07/23/08)
  
• When the Dumb Stuff Doesn't Matter (07/16/08)
  
• At 96, the Wonder Still Has Plenty to Say (07/09/08)
  
• A Beautiful Swing, A Compromised Future (07/01/08)
  
• Don't Go Mum on Us, Barack (06/24/08)
  
• Eulogy for the Winnebago (06/17/08)
  
• A Duke Ellington For Modern Times (06/10/08)
  
• Summer's Here: Everybody in the Pool (06/03/08)
  
• The Roar of Hollow Patriotism (05/27/08)
  
• A Few Mutterings Over the Graves of Soldiers (05/20/08)
  
• Springtime is Our Time and Viva Sweet Love (05/13/08)
  
• Nobody Loves You Like Mama Does (05/06/08)
  
• Planes and Purgatory: A Day at the Airport (04/29/08)
  
• The Joys of a Structured Life (04/22/08)
  
• Singing the Delta Blues (04/15/08)
  
• Observations From the Back of the Line (04/08/08)
  
• Theirs Not To Reason Why (04/01/08)
  
• In the Shadow of the Volcano (03/25/08)
  
• A Pagan's Thoughts at Eastertide (03/18/08)
  
• Like It Was Great (Totally) (03/11/08)
  
• Why They Are Looking at the Skinny Guy (02/26/08)
  
• Tired of Winter, Getting an MRI (02/19/08)
  
• A Sigh From Saginaw (02/12/08)
  
• What You Don't Want, Throw Out (02/05/08)
  
• Where's St. Michael When You Really Need Him? (01/29/08)
  
• What is Wrong with Our Country Today? (01/22/08)
  
• Columnist Lashes Out at Candidates (WHACKKK! OOOFFFFFF) (01/15/08)
  
• In Defense Of Stepping Out Of Line (01/08/08)
  
• Just Follow The Map (12/31/07)
  
• O Little Town of Bethlehem (12/25/07)
  
• Stopping to Smell the Pine Boughs (12/18/07)
  
• The Meaning of Christmas (Yes, That One Again) (12/11/07)
  
• The Nativity in New York City (12/04/07)
  
• Merrily we Sail Along Over the Deep Blue Sea (11/27/07)
  
• Why I Didn't Invest in Subprime Mortgages (11/20/07)
  
• He Forgot His Cellphone: A Sad Story (11/13/07)
  
• Why You Didn't See The Raven This Year (11/06/07)
  
• Why Iowa Matters (10/30/07)
  
• G.O.P. Recipe for Success: God and Marriage (10/23/07)
  
• Went to Baltimore and Saw That it Was Good (10/16/07)
  
• October Heat Wave Hits Minnesota as Stanford Beats USC (10/09/07)
  
• Finding St. Paul on the Road (10/02/07)
  
• It is Never Too Late to Change Your Mind (09/25/07)
  
• September: Time to Lighten Up and Get a Grip (09/18/07)
  
• The Great Tenor Stood and Wept for Us (09/11/07)
  
• A Man is Hurled from his Perch; Life Goes On (09/04/07)
  
• A Good Knock on the Head Clarifies Everything (08/28/07)
  
• Columnist Issues Stiff Warning to Readers (08/21/07)
  
• The Master Woodsman Takes a Hike (08/14/07)
  
• Recipe for Avoiding Risky Bridges: Hold the Mayo (08/07/07)
  
• Getting worked up over a down market (07/31/07)
  
• A Worrywart's Guide to Vacationing (07/24/07)
  
• How the Norse Stay On Course (07/17/07)
  
• Beware of Suspicious Medicine Men (07/10/07)
  
• The Fine Art of Lying: A Layman's Guide (07/03/07)
  
• The Liberating Silence of the Library (06/26/07)
  
• The Unknown Person at the Airport (06/19/07)
  
• 'La Vida Pura' beckons in L.A. (06/12/07)
  
• The case for the simple life (06/05/07)
  
• Hollow Oratory on Memorial Day (05/29/07)
  
• Do Not Disturb: Author at Work (05/22/07)
  
• Spring and the Wait for a Worthy Leader (05/15/07)
  
• The Pleasures of Perfect Cadence (05/08/07)
  
• The Restorative Power of Sweet Magnolias (05/01/07)
  
• Being Chosen: The Occupational Hazards (04/24/07)
  
• Thanking History for Our Comeuppance (04/17/07)
  
• Trying to escape a good reputation (04/10/07)
  
• Take a hike. It'll do you good (04/03/07)
  
• Someday in the Park with George (03/27/07)
  
• Let us Now Praise Worker Ants (03/20/07)
  
• Some Plain Talk about those Classroom Dioramas (03/06/07)
  
• Bringing the Met to Minneapolis (02/27/07)
  
• Choosing the Right Lunch Partners (02/20/07)
  
• Giuliani's Dress Rehearsal (02/13/07)
  
• Needed: More Caribou, Fewer Holsteins (02/06/07)
  
• Out with the Old (12/26/06)
  
• Let the Weather Outiside be Frightful (12/19/06)
  
• The Season of Letter-Perfect Families (12/12/06)
  
• What the Dickens? (12/05/06)
  
• Come All Ye Faithful - And don't forget the cookies (11/28/06)
  
• Low Riders in Church and Then We Went Home (11/21/06)
  
• A More Perfect Union: fewer states (11/14/06)
  
• Possibility in the air (11/07/06)
  
• The retiring type? Not me. (10/31/06)
  
• The subtle upside of terror (10/24/06)
  
• Everyday sweetness in America (10/17/06)
  
• A big round of applause, please, for modesty (10/10/06)
  
• The cranky man's guide to contentment (10/03/06)
  
• Mixed feelings about snap judgments (09/26/06)
  
• A penny for my thoughts (09/19/06)
  
• Coffee, tea, or triacetone triperoxide? (09/12/06)
  
• The real strengths of Fortress America (09/05/06)
  
• A modest plan for saving the country (08/29/06)
  
• Let the voices of 9/11 be heard (08/22/06)
  
• In a political year, the solace of baseball (08/15/06)
  
• Why a man should turn 64 (08/08/06)
  
• Shut my mouth if this ain't a heat wave (08/01/06)
  
• Thoughts of a hottie (07/25/06)
  
• The lazy man's guide to Alaska (07/18/06)
  
• Summertime and the livin' is what it is (07/11/06)
  
• A peach of a scandal in Georgia (07/04/06)
  
• The Prodigal Father has another cup of coffee (06/27/06)
  
• Older man collapses at home, in satisfactory condition (06/20/06)
  
• What I did last week alone in my car (06/13/06)
  
• Note to Republicans: The Party's over (06/06/06)
  
• There is no monument like a book (05/30/06)
  
• Taking a new look at Grandpa (05/23/06)
  
• Protestants unite! A call to action (05/16/06)
  
• Something he's been meaning to say for years (05/02/06)
  
• Let's Talk About You and Your Mother (04/25/06)
  
• It's Spring, sweet Spring, so keep on the grass (04/18/06)
  
• How to improve your marriage in just one day (04/11/06)
  
• April is here, time to cut loose of politics (04/04/06)
  
• His nerves are tired and he needs to lie down (03/28/06)
  
• Message to the White House copilot: Eject now (03/21/06)
  
• Day of Reckoning for the Current Occupant (03/14/06)
  
• Me and Maurizio, ships in the night (03/07/06)
  
• What to do when the emperor has no clothes (02/28/06)
  
• Why not be all that we can be? (02/21/06)
  
• I did it in my sleep (02/14/06)
  
• Join the government and see the world (02/07/06)
  
• If it's okay with them, it's fine by me (01/31/06)
  
• The character-building properties of sweaters (01/24/06)
  
• Pants on fire? OK with me (01/17/06)
  
• A leader need not throw his weight around (01/10/06)
  
• The cold truth about my holiday in Norway (01/03/06)
  
• The Magnetic Power of the Herd (12/27/05)
  
• Holiday Fear: too little to talk about (12/20/05)
  
• Grace and Humor: Remembering the Real Gene McCarthy (12/13/05)
  
• A Little Savage Grandeur and Who Needs Therapy? (12/06/05)
  
• Writers and Readers: Unbearable Intimacy (11/29/05)
  
• Let's Give Thanks for Faultless Pens, Swimming Teachers (11/22/05)
  
• Splitting the Haute Cuisine Scene (11/15/05)
  
• Today's Lesson: It Could Be Worse (11/08/05)
  
• Why the Undisturbed Life is Not Worth Living (11/01/05)
  
• A FINE day to be somebody else (10/25/05)
  
• Trust me, Harold Miers will be a brilliant justice (10/18/05)
  
• In defense of the embattled Tom DeLay (10/11/05)
  
• Suffering brings wisdom, but so does fun (10/04/05)
  
• Ambition and the honesty of everyday work (09/27/05)
  
• Football, Turkey Power and the Lessons of History (09/20/05)
  
• Why Not a Decency Standard for the U.S. Congress? (09/13/05)
  
• After Katrina, Looking for Higher Ground (09/06/05)
  
• How Coffee Mitigates Life's Daily Grind (08/30/05)
  
• Miss Orange and America's Red-Blue Divide (08/23/05)
  
• Edith Wharton and the War on Terror (08/16/05)
  
• A Puritan's Path to Weight Loss and Eternal Happiness (08/09/05)
  
• Answering the Call of the Chattering Classes (08/02/05)
  
• The Inexorable Ascent of A Harvard Man (07/26/05)
  
• A Layman's Guide to the Valerie Plame Affair (07/19/05)
  
• Reining in the Dog Days of Summer (07/12/05)
  
• Discordant Notes Among the Supremes (07/05/05)
  
• The Land of the Free and the Home of the Berries (06/28/05)
  
• Q & A with Garrison Keillor (06/28/05)