Post to the Host

Host Garrison Keillor answers your questions about life, love, writing, authors, and of course, A Prairie Home Companion.

Send GK Your Question »

Starting Over

February 19, 2013 | 9 Comments

Hi Sir,

Within the span of three months, I have been laid off from my (amazing) job and my boyfriend broke up with me. How do I keep moving ahead when everything feels so wrong? What I thought made me who I am is now gone. I feel scared and sad about the future. Do you have any thoughts about starting over?

Kristina

Scared and sad is pretty normal after you've taken a couple hard bumps but you know that the job and the boyfriend didn't make you who you are. So maybe you should sit down and write yourself an essay about who you are, leaving out the job and the boyfriend. A little exercise to clear the mind. Your best memories and most dismal ones, your strong qualities and what you need to work on. Regrets and hopes for the future. Don't bother with literary touches, just dash down an honest appraisal of yourself. If you haven't done some cost-cutting, you'll want to do that -- an interesting exercise: what's important to you and what can be dispensed with. I think you should plan a trip for yourself, a sort of cleansing experience and a chance to think about the future. Get out of Orlando and head for a place you love and hike and bike around for a week or two or three. Finally, I recommend that you enter into a new phase of militant discipline. Put your mind to achieving a few things you want to do for yourself -- it's a perfect time -- to learn a language or a new skill, to lose weight, to kill off a bad habit, to accomplish some things that make you feel good about yourself. Militance is a great tonic. Start with a daily workout, a brisk walk, and go from there. Women tend to take longer than men to get over a romance, so we want to get you through the next six months (maybe more) and make it count for something. You can do it.

9 Comments

Hilary | February 20, 2013 9:31 AM

A Toast to the Host

He would never want to boast
But he is the host with the most
And he'll tell you how to drive
And never just to coast
It boils down to this:
Action is motion
Stagnation is piss
Happiness is not ignorance - -
Learning is the Bliss.

Imabear | February 22, 2013 10:53 AM

Great advice. The past year of my life has been pretty bad as well for various reasons then I love my beloved mother rather unexpectedly in the fall of 2012. I'm undone and lost. This advice is basically what I'm trying to do for myself. To heal and figure out what I want for the rest of my life.

Janice | February 22, 2013 2:00 PM

This advice could have been written for me - I believe it was. Time for me to take inventory and make a fresh start. Thanks, GK

Connie Bos | February 22, 2013 2:06 PM

Sometimes a new perspective is just the thing to help.Ancient Alien theorism or Norse Apocalyptic Mythology, for instance could change your worldview, and cause you to seek out a whole new set of interests and like- minded people. Birds of a feather flock together.

Martha Henderson | February 22, 2013 11:57 PM

Great advice! Thanks! This would help anyone who has suffered a big loss or disappointment.

Theresa Cleereman | February 24, 2013 6:01 AM

Thank you. I came to this page just looking for some good Prairie Home. By accident,your words are now ringing in my years. For years,my dad listened to you while he was in the garage relaxing after a hard day of work outside. Your words make me cry, because they sound like a loving fathers and best friend. I'm passing this on.
with gatitude.

Marco Sanchez | February 25, 2013 9:37 AM

The Age of Plastic
I live in the age of plastic
money is plastic
clothes are plastic
surgery is plastic
nails are plastic
lips, tips, passes and various other anatomical structures are plastic
shoes are plastic
food is plastic
medicine is coated in plastic
flowers are plastic
corrupt politicians are plastic…
storm troopers are plastic….
deception and propaganda are plastic...
But the Primeval Spirit of the People is Peaceful, Powerful and Pure
And is in no way, shape, or form plastic.

Sandy | March 1, 2013 3:26 PM

As always, great advice from a wise man. All I can add is after the "worst" happened to me, the best came along; and life just keeps getting better and better! It's as if without experiencing pain one can't feel complete pleasure. Thank you, Garrison.

June | March 4, 2013 9:00 PM

I memorized poetry at a very boring job where I was a cog in the wheel that make computer chips.. 17 years and the job was outsourced to singapore.. but, during that time I earned 2 ba's and memorized 70 poems. Here is the poem I want you to listen deeply to..
People so seldom say 'I love you'
and when they do either it's too late or love goes.
So when I say I love you.
It doesn't mean I know you will never go..
it only means I wish you wouldn't have to.

I am now working as a private certified nursing assistant.. in spite of my two degrees and multiple certifications and experience (I too have been a radio show host for 7 years,, trying to share solutions and good things in the world.. as I think the world and I need that inspiration.."focus on what is right in the world and your self.. and they will both right themselves,,,,

get your mind off the shit and onto the solution...
the only thing to fear is fear itself..
the vibration of fear will attract what you fear..
change something.. like Garrison says..
anything..
and embrace that commitment as if you're life depends on it..
because
it
does.
your example will inspire others..
and this is your only purpose..
love is our soul purpose..
self love..
so go and kick your own ass into a life worth emulating!!!