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February 20, 2012 |
Dear Mr. Keillor,
I am a Minnesotan who has travelled to Georgia (the country) to teach English. The other day, I was told several Georgian jokes by my students, and when I tried my best to think of American jokes to tell them, all I could think of were Sven and Ole jokes. Do you have any good suggestions for American jokes to tell, that are not about Scandinavians?
You're asking the wrong guy, Karly. The jokes I love are really stupid ones. Like ----- What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe? Roberto. ---- That one really cracks me up. And how about this one? My wife's gone to the West Indies. Jamaica? No, she went on her own.
This is my current favorite.
Why can't an engineer tell a joke timing.
Try that out on a couple Georgians. And how about some rhymed jokes for something really classy.
"Darling, you've always been with me.
On life's long bumpy ride.
Through sickness, hair loss, bankruptcy,
You've been here by my side.
My heart attack and the house burning down
That night the lightning struck.
And liver cancer ---- and now suddenly
I'm starting to think that you're bad luck."
The farmer had a champion bull
Who bred two hundred times a year.
The farmer's wife said, 'Two hundred times!
Isn't that wonderful, dear!
Maybe you ought to watch him,
Maybe he'd show you how."
The farmer said, 'He's a heck of a bull
But it wasn't all with one cow."
And one more, but it's about Scandinavians.
Ole lay on his deathbed,
He knew he was going to die.
And then he smelled a beautiful smell
Of Lena's rhubarb pie.
He crept downstairs to the kitchen,
There it was, he let out a moan.
Then Lena whacked him with a broom:
"That's for the funeral. Leave it alone."