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The Goodbye To Childhood You're On Your Own Now Ceremony
January 18, 2012 |
Dear Mr. Keillor,
My Bar Mitzvah is this weekend. I need to make a speech. Do you have any advice? Start with a joke?
p.s. If you're in Houston this weekend, you're welcome to come and bring a friend.
Dear Ari, We Christians don't have any tradition like this, the Goodbye To Childhood You're On Your Own Now ceremony, but it does strike me that you should've been thinking about this LONG BEFORE NOW, no? Am I wrong? But a joke is fine. Here are two.
You always want to begin a joke by saying, "So!" Pause two beats. Then the joke.
So. There was a big bar mitzvah outdoors in a backyard and all the bees went to enjoy the fresh flowers and fruit and they made sure to wear yarmulkes so people would know they were bees and not wasps.
So. God told his angels he was going away for the weekend and the angels said, "Are you going to visit Earth?" And God said no. "I went down there a couple thousand years ago and got a Jewish girl pregnant and they're still talking about it."
Congratulations and mazel tov and l'chaim, Ari.