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Please Advise

February 26, 2009 | 5 Comments

Dear Mr. Keillor,
Could you please give me some advice on writing a love letter? This Tuesday is my husband's birthday, and this year (as in all previous years), I am giving him tools. He is always appreciative of them, and the staid engineer inside of him always sees to their efficient use and excellent care. But this time, that gift just seems an insufficient substitute for what I truly want to express to him.

The problem is that compliments generally make him uncomfortable, so perhaps a love letter is simply a selfish endeavor resulting from the hormones of early pregnancy. What do you think?



Maybe what your engineer dislikes about compliments is their verobosity. Likely he is a man of few words who likes words to count for something. So don't gush. You could write: "I love you more than you know and I am so happy to be having your baby." If he isn't moved by that, then kick him to see if he has reflexes.


and yet...
in the heat of passion...
do i gush about my love...?
i do....!

I gave two surprise birthday parties for my ex (Italian -- not sure if this is important) during our marriage and I really feel he loved both of them. For whatever that is worth. On the other hand, being from the Mid West, I don't know how that would go over in Wis/Min.

Yes! I did this! Thirty years ago, the impending birth of our first child was confirmed the day before my husband's 26th birthday. Instead of gifts (there were certainly plenty of appropriate, *First-Time-Expectant-Dad* things I could have purchased), I chose, instead, to write him a letter of love, adoration, and how much FUN we would have scheming all the creative, sneaky ways to have "Private Mommy and Daddy Play Time," once we had children. The letter was long and graphic, and he really did enjoy reading it. At the end of the letter (and I was truly amazed that, even then, he had not yet caught on), I thanked him for the impending "life of our love." Finally, he got it! To his dying day, he spoke often and fondly of all the fun he and I had together that night ~ and, yes, we had fun! He claimed it was his best birthday ever. Incidentally, the baby girl I delivered exactly eight months later will turn thirty next month. Many, many happy memories ...

Dear Mr. Keillor,

I'm not asking for you advice. I have no need.
Even if offered I'd likely not heed.

I just wanted to take an opportunity to tell you I've enjoyed enjoyed your books, and broadcasts, immensely, for many years.

Your reply is inciteful and diabolic. It sounded men think women talk too much without actually saying it.

Mary, your love letter idea is positively delicious. I hope your husband continues to appreciate you!

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