Post to the Host:
In the Summer of 2005, you were at Marymoor in Seattle for a show. I took my 12-year-old for the night of her life. You signed a book for her and let someone take a picture. You were enraptured by her soft short hair and stroked it while the photo was taken. She often reported to others that you "petted her". What you probably did not know was that it was her "Chemo hair". She was in the 7th month of leukemia treatment. She has since fully recovered and now has "Get that hair out of your eyes, why don't you" hair. She has always been a great fan of your show and I do believe that some of your good humor, wisdom and irreverence rubbed off. Thanks so much and we will see you this summer.

Sally
Seattle

I almost sort of remember that meeting—it was in a little courtyard in front of the old mansion that's part of Marymoor, and it had been a harrowing show because a stagehand fell off a ladder and fractured his skull and an ambulance came to take him away, which severely dented the evening. But the audience bounced back, amazingly. A horrible accident in their midst and then the EMTs were right there and people were shocked but we all sang a song about angels together and people's good spirits returned. (Last time in Seattle, at the Chateau Ste. Michelle winery, an old man died during the show, a beloved old newspaper cartoonist. He had been ill but was feeling up to seeing the show and came and then he collapsed. It was dark and he slumped down on the grass and emergency people came and took him away without any of us being aware of it.) I am so glad that your daughter has bounced back and hope she is entering her teenhood full of spirit which means, of course, that she will dump our show in favor of something that is truer to her rhythms, which is just fine. If we can't amuse the young, at least we can give them something solid to kick. But if you come to the show in August, please come around afterward and say hello.

Post to the Host:
I recently saw a Honda commercial, supposedly done in many many takes, without the use of computers. It uses parts of a Honda car operating in a Rube Goldberg fashion - and you did the voice-over "wouldn't it be nice if everything worked like this" . The question is: to your knowledge, was this for real or was the whole thing done (as I believe) by computer graphics. Enjoy your show - sometimes enjoy the columns in the Chicago Tribune even if disagreeing sometimes.

Glenn M.

The word I got from Weiden & Kennedy, the ad agency in London, Glenn, is that the Honda commercial was done in real time in one take and that it only took a few takes to achieve perfection. If engineers were involved, as surely they were, I don't think they would've been satisfied with computer graphics. Engineers are deeply into reality.

Post to the Host:
My family and I had the a great time at the Blossom Music Center in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio, this past weekend. The show was great, but the thunderstorm provided a special show in itself. The invitation of the lawn audience into the cover of the canopy and everyone's efforts to accommodate the unique circumstances reassured me that PHC audiences are the kind of people I like to be with.

As a special treat after a majority of the crowd had left and the sun was setting on the longest day of the year we were amazed to see a double rainbow over the parking lot as we returned to our car. This was not a just a run of the mill rainbow, you could see both the beginning and end of the rainbow on the horizon. The parts near the tree line were practically florescent in intensity.

It was a great way to end a great day.

How did you arrange it?

Bob W.
Toledo,Ohio

I saw that rainbow, Bob, though not the florescent part — I was standing under the shell afterward talking to people. There were a couple of 14-year-old girls named Isabella and Julianna from Akron who gave me a CD they made singing some songs from the movie (with their faces morphed into a picture of Meryl Streep and Lily Tomlin) and also an original skit entitled "Swimming Can Be Very Fun" and there was a lovely young woman walking with canes who had had surgery to remove a brain tumor and whose brain, aside from the part that runs her legs, seemed to be firing on all six cylinders. There was a man named Fritz and an Extremely Shy Woman and a woman who makes new blends of tea and there was a tall young man of 17 or so who is a long-distance runner and also a writer. There were small children and a couple of ancient people and a woman from Pennsylvania and dozens of others. Also memorable was the temporary loss of power in the hall, which hit about five minutes into the broadcast. Robin and Linda Williams and the Shoe Band and I were singing the Beach Boys' "I Get Around" and suddenly the stage went dark and the P.A. dead and the crowd went OHHHHH and we kept singing and soon, bit by bit, everything came back. We knew the storm was coming and during the warmup I took a wireless mic up the hill and sang some Elvis songs walking through the crowd as the rain started to come down and as the ushers opened up the fence and let the hill-sitters down into the covered seats. So it all turned out well. None of the people I saw afterward seemed bedraggled or crestfallen. The show loaded out in a couple hours and the next morning I was at the Cleveland airport and flew home to more rainshowers in Minnesota. Looked for a rainbow and didn't see one.

To the Host:
I was just wondering how you choose the musical guests for the show, and how someone might get an artist's information to the right hands for consideration.

Scott I.

People come in through all sorts of doors. The tenor Raul Melo I met at the Met at a performance of "La Boheme" — he was understudying the role of Rodolpho and we got to talking and I said, "Hey, come on the show tomorrow at Town Hall." And he did, and sang "Che gelida manina" from the opera and then came back a few weeks later and did "O Sole Mio" and brought the house to its feet. James Taylor came in through mutual acquaintances up at Tanglewood. Renee Fleming came in because she's a fan of the show and how could you turn down Renee Fleming? The Ditty Bops sent us a CD and it was very infectious and happy and completely original. Most people send in CDs or mp3 files and it all gets heard eventually and most of it is put aside pretty quickly as sounding over-produced or under-cooked or too much like too many other people. Some is too dark for our show. Some is too complicated for a live broadcast, too techno-, too studio-based. And then you hear someone who has something to say that really moves you and that's what you want.

Dear Mr. Keillor,
I was recently enjoying a re-read of Lake Wobegon, Summer 1956, when I took note of your photo on the back flap in which you are hunched over a laptop in deep thought. Two questions, then: 1. Are you REALLY in deep thought or merely posing as such with the intent of looking "authorly" and 2. Do you compose your novels on a laptop? I ask because as a flailing failing novelist, these trivialities are important to me. My fellow failures will understand...

Thanks!
Jeff

They asked me to pose at the laptop and so I did and once I sat down I got engrossed in something I'd been working on. As for the novels, I wrote the first one on a Selectric typewriter and the second on an old CPT word-processing machine and then got a Toshiba laptop and I've been loyal to laptops ever since although a novel wants to get out of the computer and onto paper several times in the course of composition. The novel I'm working on now has been back and forth a couple of times: you print out a double-spaced typescript and revise it and type the revisions into the computer and a few months later you do it again. And then at the end, you get galleys from the printer and rewrite it there, and again if necessary. It's always good to see the work in a new format. It gives you fresh eyes.

Post to the Host:
I bought three types of tomato plants this year. Two of them on purpose, and one as a Plan B so that, if I couldn't find the tomato I really wanted, I'd at least have something close to it. My curious question is: What type of tomatoes do folks in Lake Wobegon plant? Do they start their tomatoes from seed or do they buy tomato plants? As an aside, every time I plant a tomato plant or pick a ripe tomato or see a bruised tomato on the ground, I think of "Tomato Butt." It's my favorite.

P.S. I think it would be wonderful if you did a show in Cincinnati. Where else do you have people who celebrate with a Flying Pig?

Erin H.
Russellville, OH

Erin, we did a show in Cincinnati a year or so ago and had a big time and we look forward to going back, just as soon as the scandal dies down. As for tomatoes, the serious disciplined tomato grower always used to begin with seed in a tray of little starter cartons on a windowsill or in a sunny corner — why pay someone else to do what you can do better yourself? — but, like everything else, this has changed. People are busy. Back in the day, if you told my father, "I was just too busy to start my tomato seeds this year so I bought plants at the store," he would think you had your priorities wrong, or that your life was crazy — possibly you were carrying on a life of crime on the side, or maybe you had come down with a nasty illness — but nowadays "I was too busy" is widely accepted as an excuse for almost anything. I believe that the Big Boys and the Beefeaters are still the dominant tomatoes in Lake Wobegon but I haven't been up there this spring. I've been too busy.

Post to the Host:
I attended a funeral today at a Lutheran Church (Missouri Synod) and after the burial at the cemetery we came back to the church hall for the funeral luncheon. On a door inside the church hall there was a small sign said, "Pie Room." I have never encountered a Pie Room in a church. Being an Episcopalian our church has an undercroft and a vestry but no Pie Room. I looked inside this Pie Room, which was the size of a large walk in closet, but there were no pies inside, nor was any pie served at the luncheon. Would this pie room be used to store pies, such as pumpkin, lemon, pecan or chocolate? Or is this Lutheran Pie Room used for rituals similar to those carried out in the various rooms you would find in an LDS temple? I have photographic documentation of the Pie Room door if you need verification.

Ed R.
St. Louis

Ed, you wandered into a secret sacred place and were I to tell you what a Pie Room is about, I would violate the sacred vows I took years ago when I was given my Lutheran underwear and I would no longer be one of the 167,000 who will be seated at the right hand of the Lamb at the millenial feast and also I would no longer be invited to anyone's house for coffee. Please destroy those photographs and don't ever speak of this again. Go back to your undercroft. The Pie Room has nothing to do with Sweeney Todd, despite the coincidence of the funeral. Put that out of your mind.

Dear Mr. Keillor
I am an elementary teacher. This year I have had the worst problem with children picking their nose in my class. No amount of quiet asides was helping these children break their terrible habit. The other night I heard your "Don't Pick Your Nose" song on the children's show. I played it for my class the very next day, and for a couple of days afterwards. I am happy to report that 3 out of 4 nose pickers have been cured due to your song! The last kid seems to be a die hard, but I'll keep trying.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Green

Well, there you are. We got some scorching response to "Don't Pick Your Nose" from people who felt it would inspire an epidemic of nose-picking, but instead it turns out to be a cure. Nose-picking is semi-conscious behavior and when you make children aware of what they're doing and what it looks like, they're likely to stop. Or do it secretly. And children aren't the only ones. I have known men who semi-consciously reach down and adjust their underwear in public — or rather adjust the contents of their underwear — and it's rather gross. I don't think I'll write a song about it, though. Poise. Maturity. Gracefulness. We're all aiming for it. I have a terrible habit of scratching the inside of my ear with the endpiece of my glasses — it feels good but it must look awful.

Dear Garrison,
I have a quick, but important question. How come A Prairie Home Companion has a majority of its shows on the "east coast" but rarely the "west coast"? I have been a fan of your show since I was 11 (I am now 13), and have yet to witness a live performance. Sure, Washington is gray and rainy, but we have plenty of A Prairie Home Companion listeners. I hope you take my plea into consideration.

Miranda M.
Olympia, WA

We love to do the show in Washington, Miranda. Though we've never done it in Olympia, we've done ten or so shows in Spokane and in Seattle, at various theaters downtown and at UW and outdoors at Chateau Ste. Michelle, the winery, and at a park north of town. It only rained on us once that I recall. But the last one was probably around the time you started listening, so that's why you didn't know about it. I happen to like gray rainy weather a lot and always feel sort of invigorated by it. Seattle is a city where people aren't afraid to get a little damp. In fact, we're doing a Rhubarb show at Marymoor Park in August, and I'm sure A Prairie Home Companion will come back to Seattle soon. Or maybe Olympia, who knows? That's on the Olympic peninsula, right? The prettiest part of Washington?

Garrison,
Linda, a dear friend's sister, is very ill with liver cancer. Discussion of funeral service has begun and Linda remembers hearing on PHC, perhaps as long as 8-10 years ago, a gospel group singing a wonderful piece that might have had the words, "I'm going home" or "I'm coming home" and "I'm ready"... ANY chance at all that you could point us to the right music and lyrics? Thanks.

Libby

There are many "Going/Coming Home" songs in gospel music but the phrase "I'm ready" suggests "I'm ready when you call me, Lord, but give me just a little more time." I hope Linda has more time.

"Lord, I'm Coming Home" is an old revival song from my childhood, but it's more about repentance than death. There's "Come home, come home, it's suppertime," a sentimental gospel song. And that lovely theme from Dvorak's New World Symphony has "coming home" lyrics.

Dear Garrison,
Listening to Guy Noir's recent escapades in Miami where he had to dodge flying daggers made me wonder what ever happened to Pete, the guy who was always trying to knock off Guy Noir ("Whadja go an hafta shoot me for, Pete?").

Greg and Jenny
Fryeburg, Maine

Pete was played by Walter Bobbie way back when about twelve years ago, as I recall, before Walter went on to direct "Chicago" and become famous and wealthy, and the stories were very formal, almost ritualistic: Pete came to the office with some sort of grudge and eventually pulled a gun and so did Guy and they both shot each other. Every time. They were caught in the grip of inexorable violence and much as they tried to avoid killing each other, they were helpless — "Oh no, not this again!" one of them said, and then shots rang out. I enjoyed those episodes a lot but we got some persuasive complaints from parents and other liberals and we switched to a non-violent premise. Guy hasn't fired a gun since then.

Mr. Keillor:
We are, perhaps unwisely, planning to drive the old Route 66 (Chicago to Sante Fe) in September. It would be fantastic if one of the broadcast or tour dates and our itinerary coincided.

Will there be any additional late August dates? — and when will those and September dates be announced please?

Hils
London, England.

The band and Suzy Bogguss and Fred Newman and I are doing a Prairie Home Rhubarb show in Des Moines on August 17 and in Santa Fe on August 26. Des Moines is home to the fabulous Iowa State Fair which is a must-see event. There is an old stretch of 66 through Arizona that you really shouldn't miss, mountain driving, hairpin turns, no guard rail. And in one little town you'll find a rickety little hotel where Clark Gable and Carole Lombard spent their honeymoon, or so it is said. So rethink your itinerary, so as to start in LA, in Santa Monica, and head east. And if you can drive it in a convertible, all the better. And don't forget to hike down the trail into the Grand Canyon, one of the great experiences.

Post to the Host
I'm 15 and have listened to your show almost every weekend since i can remember. One night in February I lay in a sleeping bag in the snow with the other guys winding up a little radio through the face hole of the sleeping bag and laughing at the joke show. Thank you for this amazing show it's a high point of my week and you can always make me smile. Thank you so much.

Adam B.
West Hartford, CT

I went winter camping when I was your age, Adam, and I'm glad to hear that young guys still do that. I'd love to do it again. (I think.) We didn't have down sleeping bags back then and I remember us Scouts curled up in a pile together, like malamutes. We also didn't have tiny radios back then—this was pre-transistor—and so we lay in silence. No jokes. Just teenagers thinking quietly about death.

We've received a generous amount of listener mail asking what a grommet — the animal variety — looks like. Here's the scoop from our resident biology expert.

Mr. Keillor,
A few weeks ago, you did an ad about Pete's Exotic Pet Store, in which they advertised supplies for several exotic animals, including "large grommets." In a story about Fred Newman, he mentioned he had a grommet. Now, I've looked everywhere about this creature, with the only result turning up items about metal or plastic rings often used on sails of boats. Now I ask you: what in God's name is a grommet? I eagerly anticipate your input.

Grace G.
Skaneateles, NY

Hi, love your show...but have a question re. the May 3 show. Fred Newman mentioned having a pet "grommet". I looked in Dictionary.com and could only find the usual meaning, like the grommet that goes on an electrical cord. What the heck kind of animal was he talking about?

Thanks,
Vickie J.
Battle Creek, MI

The grommet, (Grommet irregularis) is a medium-sized semi-aquatic nocturnal mammal renowned both for its shy, humorous antics and also its ferocious temper when provoked. Ancient cousin to the common weasel, the grommet is now the only living member of the subfamily Rodentia furioso.

Grommets live primarily in low-lying peat bogs and other wetland areas in the Northern Midwest where they make elaborate tunnels underneath riverbeds that can sometimes divert waterways and cause irrigation problems for farmers. Originally introduced from Nicaragua to hunt smaller rodents, the grommet quickly multiplied out of control and became a nuisance species. Grommets were hunted extensively in the early 1990s, until, near extinction, they received protected status from the Department of Fisheries and Wetland Management, and, while rare, are now making a slow but steady comeback. Grommets are spotted most commonly at dawn and dusk, burrowing under riverbeds and swimming short distances to collect their two preferred foods: cattails and garbage.

Grommets have poor eyesight, hearing, and sense of smell, but make up for this with a keen sense of intuition and foreboding. When startled they emit a piercing shriek which disorients predators long enough for them to make a quick getaway with their muscular legs and webbed feet.

Grommets mate primarily in the dead of winter, when there is less competition. Male grommets have a strong mating drive and are strongly territorial, but also very forgetful, and so the females are often left to raise litters by themselves. As a result, the female grommet is particularly ferocious and resourceful, and will mate only when she feels like it.

Native Americans worshiped the grommet as an animal god that could burrow into the deepest mud for no reason at all and emerge and pretend that nothing happened. Their Indian name for the grommet is loosely translated as "the one who disappears and unexpectedly reappears."

Hunting grommets for their pelts is a serious offense and comes with a $2,000 fine and 40 hours of community service.