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Forget Mr. Darcy

February 12, 2008 | 1 Comment

Dear Mr. Keillor,
I work at the library, a fantastic job for a college student. I get paid to sit and read books—I'm currently immersed in Anna Karenina and have read every Jane Austen book for the third time while sitting at this desk. I love romance novels, but I'm getting frustrated with love. I've been in deep like with a man, but never in love. Does love really happen like Jane Austen says it does? Does my Mr. Darcy exist? Or, could it be, that because I've been reading so many romance novels that my idea of love is skewed?

My last three interests all left to do adventurous things. One is riding his bicycle from Alaska to Central America, the other moved to Australia, and the most recent started working for the AIDS/HIV initiative in Liberia. Now, I am the adventurous sort and love to take risks. But is there something wrong with me that I can't even date someone who isn't leaving for another country?

Evie J.
Vermillion, SD

Three boyfriends left town on account of you, Evie, and this tells me there is some intensity going on. I try to look at this from the guy's perspective, dating a woman who has just immersed herself in Jane Austen, and I can see her leaning across the table toward me and asking if I believe in the power of goodness and expecting an answer, and suddenly a long bike ride starts to look good.

I asked a woman on the PHC staff and she says: "First off, she should stop looking. In my experience, when I was actively looking for Mr.Right, it seemed the worst guys would come out of the woodwork. She just has to be patient. Of course, no single person actually wants to hear this. To meet guys, she should ask her friends and family. If it's someone your friend knows and likes, there is a good chance you will like them too. Dear Abby says the best place to meet single men is at the hardware store on a Friday night. And for goodness sake, she should put the romance novels down. It's too easy to want to believe that life could be like that. Life is messy, people are flawed. She has to lower her expectations to at least the realm of human proportions or no man will be good enough. And it would be a pity that while she's waiting for Mr. Perfect, she misses out on Mr.Perfect For Her. That's my two cents."

1 Comment

IMHOP Evie is attracted to adventure but she keeps trying to get it the same way she has been getting love and relationship -- second hand through someone else. The kind of guy Evie finds interesting is out traveling and/or working for a good cause. If she gets herself out of the book stacks and pursues her own real life adventure she just might find a like minded partner that she will bond with in the course of their work and travels.

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