Post to the Host:
I had occasion to buy a roll of duct tape the other day, and it occurred to me that we haven't heard much from the Duct Tape Council lately. Are they still co-sponsoring the show, along with the Ketchup Advisory Board and the Professional Order of English Majors? Or has the production of duct tape been outsourced to Mexico or China? Just wondering.

Jim K.
Port Huron, MI

The last spokesperson for the American Duct Tape Council was supermodel Cynthia Maxwell and she ran her Lamborghini roadster off Mulholland Drive while looking into the rearview mirror attempting to affix sequined duct tape to her left eyebrow and she crashed through a privacy fence into the backyard of a famous celebrity who was roasting marshmallows over a hibachi and though Miss Maxwell walked away from the Lamborghini uninjured, she tripped on a croquet wicket and this alarmed a cat who leaped and scratched her left calf and — well, it's a long story, but Miss Maxwell had an iron-clad exclusive contract and there was a cat clause in it, and so we've been waiting for this to get worked out. Thanks for your interest.