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December 24, 2007 | 3 Comments

Dear Mr. Keillor:

As I watch the food commercials for the holidays, I see Ham, Turkey and all sorts of left-over Pilgrimic Northeast debris. The rest of the year it's chicken, pizza and burritos. I am an unabashed Lutefisk enthusiast. What can we do to bring the beloved cod National as well as the other fine fare in its orbit, lefsa, rumegrot, krumkakas and the great beverages that put the morning after experiences of other brews to shame. I want to see franchises for Norske cuisine as ubiquitous in strip malls and on the air as sandwich joints. It's clear we'll get no support from the in-laws.

David G.
Tucson

My advice is to start small, David. Fix up some lutefisk and other fine fare and set up a card table in the parking lot outside a strip mall there in Tucson and draw up a sign, "World's Greatest Lutefisk" and "You Can't Beat It" and "Guaranteed Natural," and other things of that ilk, and hire a tall beautiful woman with long blonde hair to serve the stuff. This will tell you a lot. Don't start selling franchises until you see a long line at the card table.


3 Comments


David,
Garrison has something -- the sexy blond
is important. Sex sells! But, you also have to
convince people your product will make them
thin, successful, and most important they will
be HAPPY if they consume your product.
Oh, don't forget it has to be "fun" with a
capital F!
Best of luck.
Sandy, San Clemente, CA


Since 1996, I've been diagnosed with having a pinched sciatica. Since then, it's pretty much been behaving itself. But Nov 18, it raised its ugly head and I went looking for ways to concentrate on better days, and I found it in listening to various PHC monologs that I've been collecting for many years. Apparently, the lives of all these fine Lake Wobegon people, that are woven together in story, helped me to concentrate on all their events and less on my own pain. For the benefit of those that have not been introduced to this particular problem of sciatica, imagine a nasty gunshot wound or a rather large animal trying to remove large portions of your backside with their teeth. Since the nerve itself is being affected, pain killers aren't always the answer. My answer came in a two hour portion of audio that was filled with songs and stories from the fine folks that help fill out those two hours with Garrison. It's funny too, how I believed what probably caused my current situation. Having worked in radio right out of High School from 1963 to 1975. And then I started down that road of knowledge by increasing my Media Knowledge by working at a local TV Production Department for two years. Finally finding myself employed for a S.C. position in a Media Department. I should have left well enough alone. Back in the middle 80's, portable video wasn't really that "portable". Carrying around a couple hours at a time, a 30 pound camera on one shoulder, a 30 pound recorder on the other shoulder, and a 30 pound battery pack, all eventually came down on that verterbrate that eventually moved me into the wonderful world of sciatica. What I should have done was to stay away from video and stick with audio, my first love. But NO - I had to grow - I had to see for myself what wonders this extra media - video - would add to my life! Now-a-days, they have camcorders that have 5 times the quality that I dealt with back then, weigh just ounces, and these machines absolutely pose no threat to anyone - except maybe a few that don't wish to be recorded! The portablity of audio, even back in the 70's, far exceeded video in weight and cost. Too bad I wasn't informed of this possible danger to my health. But when you're in your 30's, you're Superman and life extends outward into the ages that promises immortality - until that first tinge of pain hits you. So bring on reality and all the gravity that brings us all down. I have a magic wand that softens time and replaces discomfort with wonderment. And it's called Lake Wobegon. Speak to me Garrison!


David,
I am a tallish woman, let's say sturdily built, with dark blonde hair, and I am 50% Scandivanian (most of which is Norwegian). I have never even tasted lutefisk, much to my dismay and also somewhat to my relief. Oh yes, and I am in Tucson.
Although I am a bit of a coward when it comes to trying unusual and unfamiliar foods, I feel I should do this at least once to honor the memory of my ancestors. So when you've got the card table set up, let me know.

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