Host Garrison Keillor answers your questions about life, love, writing, authors, and of course, A Prairie Home Companion.
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March 27, 2007 |
Post to the Host:
It's the 3/24 show I'm listening to through increasing static (due to some atmospheric deviltry) as I feel obligated to comment.
I loved the reference to Samuel Colt (special thanks to Fred for the spinning cartridge magazine) but you left a little to be desired in the area of differentiation between the most basic of firearms. Remington does make a 30-06 but it is by no means a shotgun. We're talkin' rifle here. The 30-06 might be a decent choice for game some distance off like deer although most might want a larger caliber for something with the ability to acutely form a grudge such as bear. A shotgun is the weapon of choice for occasions of a more 'up-close-and-personal' nature... like weddings.
Have a blessed day,
You're dealing with dummies, Mike, so when I wrote "thirty-ought-six" into the Guy Noir script for Barbara Barbara to shoot the bear with as she walked the mountain path with Harrison Ford ("the big sissy") I was operating from some old memory of something I heard somebody say once. And it sounds good "thirty-ought-six" so I typed it. Okay. It played well with that New York audience, none of whom has ever put finger to trigger (probably), just as I haven't since I was 12. But I will defend my script. (My obligation as a writer.) Barbara Barbara and Harrison Ford were hiking in the mountains and the grizzly came upon them by surprised. NOWHERE IN THE SCRIPT DID IT SAY THEY WERE OUT FOR BEAR. They might've been out hunting ground squirrels for all we know. She raised the rifle to her shoulder and she shot the grizzly in the eye and killed it. SHE DID THE BEST SHE COULD WITH WHAT SHE HAD. I could've put a slingshot in her hand with a sharp stone and I could've had her shoot
the stone and hit the grizzly in a CERTAIN PLACE UNNAMED ON THE RADIO BUT UNDERSTOOD BY ALL MALE LISTENERS and brought the bear moaning to its knees where she could have popped two Libriums into its gaping maw and given herself and Harrison plenty of time to skedaddle. Life, Mr. Robbins, is all about doing the best you can with what you have. That valiant woman only had a 30.06 cradled in her sinewy arms and, surprised by the behemoth, she raised it and with amazing accuracy, hit it in the eyeball. This often happens on our show. I could've given her a bazooka or an anti-tank weapon or a laser sword but I chose not to. I hope this answers your question, which, now that I look at your letter again, I see you didn't ask okay, I hope this explains my method, and I hope it doesn't irritate you. I do not want to get on the wrong side of a guy who knows this much about guns.