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Host Garrison Keillor answers your questions about life, love, writing, authors, and of course, A Prairie Home Companion.

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Garrison; My wife and I

April 21, 2006 |

Garrison;
My wife and I have been listening to you since the early 80's and remain devoted fans. We have no issues as Red State Republicans when you poke fun at us with your Blue State Democratic homilies. We recognize in our quiet moments that we do sometimes appear as Pharisees (or is it Sadducees?). However, we are conflicted with your choice of sponsors. I am an advocate of the Ketchup Advisory Board and often need and appreciate the mellowing agents in a bottle of fine ketchup. However, my wife feels slighted that you have no sponsorship from the Mustard Advisory Board. She often feels the same way in many restaurants who prominently display ketchup bottles with nary a sign of mustard. Our meals are often delayed while the waiters search for a simple plain yellow mustard packet. This is no doubt influenced by your show. Being raised among the Sactified Brethren, you must be aware that Jesus never once mentioned a ketchup seed. Can you be more "fair and balanced" in your choice of sponsors?

Jimmy E.
Marietta, GA

Jimmy, the influence of A Prairie Home Companion on the cafes of Georgia is smaller than a mustard seed, so you can't hold us responsible for that, nor for our sponsorship by the Ketchup Board. We were chosen by them, not vice-versa. I am aware of no mustard promotional organization, probably because the consumers of mustard tend to be left-wing hotheads. Anytime I speak at a feminist One-World luncheon or anti-prayer breakfast, I see Dijon all over the place. You maybe need to talk with your wife about what she really thinks about things. In some parts of Georgia, they make barbecue sauce with mustard as a base instead of ketchup and that tells you something about people's true loyalties. As for Jesus using the mustard seed metaphor, Bible scholars feel that this may be an error by ancient scribes, which jolts us old Brethren whose entire world view is based on the inerrancy of Scripture, but there you are. There's trouble all over.

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