Mr. Keillor, As a regular subscriber to The Writer's Almanac, I have seen many quotes attributed to many writers. Words for which they are remembered, and, at times, wisdom for which they are lauded. After reading The Old Scout of 4 October, I may have found one of yours. "There is almost no marital problem that can't be helped enormously by taking off your clothes."

These, sir, are words I intend to live by.

Thank you,
Clarissa Morrison
Gladstone, MO

Good luck, Clarissa. Some things come from long experience and one is obliged to share them. And I have found that bathing (or showering) is always good for the soul, whether one is married or not.

Garrison, why don't you like the Unitarian Universalists? No, as one of "them," I don't take offense to your jokes, but I have heard through usually reliable sources that you harbor some hostility, so I am curious.

Olav Nieuwejaar
Milford, NH

Olav, my ill-feeling toward the UUs is due to their relentless evangelizing among the dead, as evidenced by a UU publication I saw that claimed Emily Dickinson as one of theirs and also Walt Whitman. They already have Ralph Waldo Emerson and Thomas Jefferson and Louisa May Alcott ----- shouldn't that be enough for them? Emily Dickinson was Lutheran, as evidenced by her poem, "Success is counted swedish by those who ne'er succeed," but the UUs are ransacking the past for people who might have been thinking along UU lines and claiming them as members in good standing. Next thing you know they'll be claiming Elvis.

Hello Garrison, What a wonderful addition to your lineup is Ruth Harrison, Reference Librarian! I was so entertained by that character that I'd like to dress up as her for Halloween. Would you be good enough to send me a brief description of her physical appearance? I hope we will be hearing more of this exciting series.

Best Regards,
Jane Aronson
Lowell Public Library

Jane, Ruth is a wiry woman with a noble beak and graying hair, a pencil firmly fixed in it (over her right ear), her glasses hanging on a chain around her neck, wearing a denim jumper and a sensible brown turtleneck, and crepe-soled shoes, long socks.

Mr. Keillor, I am graduating soon from the University of Iowa with a degree in music education. I have been nominated to give the student speech at my teacher education convocation in December. Your quote "Nothing we do for children is ever wasted," is an inspiration for my possible speech. I was wondering if you had any other advice for new teachers going into the profession.

Thank You,
Ashley Jogerst

Ashley, I'm glad you like the line, though it does strike me as inadequate. I mean, there's a lot done for children that's just wrong-headed and destructive. But music educators have a pleasant and helpful gift that is not wasted and that is to make certain that children are acquainted with American folk song, starting with the Star-Spangled Banner and America the Beautiful to Whoopi-ti-yi-yo and Home on the Range and Frankie & Johnny and John Henry and the E-ri-e Canal and O Little Town of Bethlehem and Amazing Grace and on and on. Songs contain something of the soul and spirit of our country, and we owe our children a chance to know these things.

Garrison, In all the years I've listened to PHC, I've carried a small puzzlement. Why is there such a scarcity of Barber Shop Quartet singing? It seems to me such a natural fit for a musically oriented radio show. Do you have some personal aversion to the SPEBSQSA?

Chad R. Larson
Phoenix, AZ.

Chad, We had a fine men's barbershop chorus on the show about a month ago at the Kansas State Fair, and there have been others, but I admit that my affection for barbershop has fallen off somewhat since I first thrilled to the Buffalo Bills singing "Sincere" and "Lida Rose" in "The Music Man"—for one thing, the repertoire seems stagnant to me—how many times can you hear "Hard-Hearted Hannah, the Vamp of Savannah G-A"? And it isn't easy to find a top-notch quartet that makes those big chords ring. But mostly, I guess it just doesn't affect me as gospel music does or the blues or certain old folk songs. Barbershop is a lovely little niche in American music, a period genre like ragtime or the men's glee club, that seems a little faded and shopworm. But doggone it "Lida Rose" is a great song.

Dear Garrison, I have been out in San Diego now since 76' but will always be a Minnesotan, having grown up in St. Paul, and I remember taking the Randolph-Payne bus downtown to see movies at the World Theater (now the Fitzgerald). I love the show and try never to miss it. Thanks for bringing a little bit of home to me every week. Have a White Castle for me please. I remember the taste of one served right off the grill from a lady in a hair net with a mustache at 2 a.m. when you're drunk.

Bill Sweeney

You don't have to be drunk to enjoy a slider at 2 a.m., Bill. Once in a blue moon when I'm working late I get in the Castle mood and drive over to the one on Rice Street and order at the drive-up window ----- three double-cheeseburgers and a bag of onion chips and a large shake ----- and nosh on them as I drive home. I take the scenic route home because I don't want my wife to smell White Castles in the morning and give me a talk about nutrition, so I drive down along the Mississippi and park under the Robert Street bridge and watch the barges go by and enjoy these delicacies ----- a thin hamburger patty that contains a certain proportion of cereal filler, in a soft white bun ----- and then head home and back to the computer. I used to eat them after leaving a bar and then my bar-hopping days ended and now they're just as good to a sober man. I wish we still had Maid-Rites though, remember those? Sort of a sloppy joe franchise. And I miss the terrific coney islands served at the little joint on St. Peter Street across from Mickey's. I used to have three for lunch, hot dogs with that special sauce that I've never tasted since, a true elixir of St. Paul.

Dear Garrison, I took my radio and headphones to the Penn State vs Ohio State football game on Saturday so I could listen to PHC but I could not hear anything on the radio over the roar of the crowd. Do I need to get a better radio?

--Curt

You couldn't have been tuned to our show, Curt. Our audience seldom roars. They are quiet and well-behaved and pick up litter from around their seats before they leave. Maybe it was "This American Life".

Garrison, there used to be a woman poet with three names whose poems you used to read on the show. I haven't heard her poems in a very long time and miss them. Has she died? Is there a collection of her work out somewhere? Thanks for keeping us sane all these years.

Marilyn Hall
Silverton, Oregon

Marilyn, the poet's name is Margaret Haskins Durber, she was the poet laureate of Lake Wobegon, and no, she hasn't died, she just stopped writing good poems and started writing the other kind. But I liked one she did lately---

Loveliest of trees, the maple now

Is turning yellow on the bough.

It stands among the trees of green,

All dressed up for Halloween.

Now of my three score years and ten,

Sixty-three won't come again.

Subtract from seventy, sixty-three,

It scares the daylights out of me.

And since to look at things sublime,

Seven years is not much time.

It’s rather sobering for a fellow

To see the maples turning yellow.

Dear Garrison, My wife and I were quite surprised at the plug for the Toyota Highlander Hybrid within the show last week ----- We are long term addicts of Prairie -- 25+ years -- and you have us captive for all the right reasons. Was your change to product placement due to financial extremity, or (as we hope) a momentary lapse?

Your slightly bewildered fans,
Bill & Elizabeth

Didn't mean to cause alarm, Bill & Elizabeth. If one of the vice-presidents of American Public Media had suggested to me that I mention Toyota on the show, I would've said no and never done it. And if Toyota had offered us money to do it, I would've said no. But when you're a guy in a room tapping at a laptop, nobody to tell you what to say or why, then sometimes you tap out a little tip of the hat to Toyota, as I did. It was simply to express pleasure that this fine company is underwriting our show. No money crossed palms, nobody went to play golf in Scotland, and if you should see me driving a Toyota around, please know that I paid full price.

Dear Garrison, My wife and I were quite surprised at the plug for the Toyota Highlander Hybrid within the show last week—We are long term addicts of Prairie—25+ years—and you have us captive for all the right reasons. Was your change to product placement due to financial extremity, or (as we hope) a momentary lapse?

Your slightly bewildered fans,
Bill & Elizabeth

Didn't mean to cause alarm, Bill & Elizabeth. If one of the vice-presidents of American Public Media had suggested to me that I mention Toyota on the show, I would've said no and never done it. And if Toyota had offered us money to do it, I would've said no. But when you're a guy in a room tapping at a laptop, nobody to tell you what to say or why, then sometimes you tap out a little tip of the hat to Toyota, as I did. It was simply to express pleasure that this fine company is underwriting our show. No money crossed palms, nobody went to play golf in Scotland, and if you should see me driving a Toyota around, please know that I paid full price.

Hi Garrison, I'm a Duluthian now living in Le Muy, France. Ironing away in my little office, in no time at all, I'm back home as I listen to your descriptions of Minnesota (I especially liked your description of going fishing with your uncle -the aluminum boat, the smell of the gas motor, the lily-pads... I did the same with my dad. You bring me home every time I listen. Thanks.

Kim Tarrillion
Le Muy, France

Kim, it's more than slightly amazing to think of you in France tuning in to the goings-on at the Fitzgerald Theater, but that's the wonder of radio, enhanced even more by the Internet. When I was a kid, I lay in bed and listened to Little Rock and Cincinnati and Nashville, places as foreign to me as Le Muy. It's nice to know people are still doing that, except on a larger scale. If I were ever in France and heard PHC, I would faint from confusion. But you're at home there and so you take these things in stride.

Dear Mr. Keillor:

I met you last week at the 92nd Street Y in New York City and told you that my Father in Ireland was one of your greatest fans. It was September 19, the second anniversary of my Father's death, and I told you that when my Father was dying he was talking about how much he loved your work and was showing the Lake Wobegon books to the priests. You took an envelope out of your pocket, wrote down his name and said you would put him in Lake Wobegon. True to your word, Patrick Brennan was a character in last week's monologue, what a wonderfully kind gesture, I laughed and I cried listening to it.

My heart felt thanks,
Deirdre Brennan

Ah, Deirdre, a writer doesn't pass up a name as good as Patrick Brennan. I was glad to make him a storyteller within the story. which is a neat device, like one of those clown cars in which the real driver is in the back seat. Thanks for waiting around to tell me about your father.

Garrison, What have you done with Mrs. Sundberg? I miss her!

Kay Tipsord
Torrance, CA.

Kay, Mrs. Sundberg will reappear when you least expect her ---- if not here, then in book form, perhaps a novel, perhaps a cookbook. She is far-ranging and could do just about anything she puts her mind to, once the leaves change and snow falls.

Dear Mr. Keillor,
Attended the Street Dance & Meatloaf Dinner outside the Fitz last night after the broadcast, and thoroughly enjoyed the proceedings. Wanted to share a few thoughts with you:

1) My companion and I really dug the meatloaf; we heard it was made with wild rice. Since I'm slowly teaching myself to cook, is there a good meatloaf recipe you can recommend?

2) I realize when you're up there on the stage with the lights blinding you, it's sometimes tough to remember there's people duking it out in the gutter below for a shot at some mashed potatoes, but I have one word for you: Stanchions. Ironically, this is probably the least of the problems faced by large groups of Midwesterners in close quarters (we naturally form neat lines, as you know), but nevertheless, we're a bit challenged when trying to queue up between dancers happily flinging their limbs akimbo to the sounds of your band's driving beat. Do you want me to bring some short poles and rope next year?

3) I was shocked to see that Prudence Johnson wasn't sporting a wedding ring. Was it being cleaned, perhaps? Let's face it, she should wear one for sheer self-protection, since at this very moment there are at least 10 attractive, neat, kind, funny men of comfortable means in the suburbs who would grovel at the chance to be seen with such a lovely woman. And she sings, too!

4) My boyfriend placed 3rd in the "Mr. Wonderful" contest, which was absolutely terrific and will doubtless be recounted at family gatherings for many years to come. I note, however, that despite our running on a platform of "hubba-hubba", bolstered by your own writings, we were bested by the "cleans bathrooms" and "good father" campaigns. I guess we're still in our honeymoon phase even after 2 years; perhaps there'll come a time when his cleaning the bathroom will excite the both of us as much as a little nookie.

All the best,
Sara

Sara, you and your sinfully handsome boyfriend were a big hit at the Street Dance and thanks for fighting your way to the stage and talking your way into the Mr. Wonderful contest. Had I been judging, you would have scored higher than No. 3 and the prize would have been bigger than the measly $20 you got. But that is water under the bridge. Prudence Johnson is married, so far as I know. I see her often and I keep forgetting to ask. Perhaps her wedding ring is flesh-colored. As for the meatloaf recipe, there are thousands of them, and my recommendation is to be wary of fancy ones that toss in, say, pimentos or chunks of pineapple or in which the recipe calls for marjoram, rosemary, and sage tied up in a cheesecloth. Or marinating. There is never any marinating with a meatloaf. I like mine ever so slightly pinkish, but will take it any way it comes.