Post to the Host
GK responds to queries on topics from childbearing to potato salad, with a little bookstore fetish in between.

Send your own post to the host.
Here's your chance to ask GK your most pressing questions—about the writing life, the radio life, Lake Wobegon, Guy Noir, whatever you like. Also, feel free to send feedback about the show. Honest comments and criticism are always welcome!

Post to the Host:
First let me say that I TRULY enjoy your radio show though I STRONGLY disagree with you political views!

Mr. Keillor, as a staunch Republican and a "poor" American I have to question your liberal view of poverty in America. I assume you are referring to incomes and empty stomachs?

As a person who's yearly income is well below the "poverty line" I have to say that in this day and age we don't know what poverty is in America. We think it has to do with dollar signs and empty stomachs... I will argue with the words (paraphrased) of Mother Teresa, "Poverty is taking the life of an innocent (unborn child/Abortion) so that one may live as they want." That indeed is poverty and it happens to be the BRAIN CHILD (no pun intended) of the Democrat Party. That is the poverty that I a "POOR" (under 12k in annual income) Republican am concerned about. True government sponsored poverty.

Our poverty is spiritual. We have put ourselves at the helm of the ship and we are reaping what we deserve if the American light is truly fading. We've sown our wild oats and the harvest is coming in.

It's not the governments job to feed, cloth and house the masses... it is the job of the masses first to WORK and provide for themselves then look to the needs of their neighbor.

The Democrats are looking to stir class warfare in this country to keep their fannies in the seats of power. Offering Abortion on demand as the easy out is just one of their enticements. Blaming others for ones position is indeed the hallmark of your party.

Blame away Mr. Keillor!

Though I am lacking in income I TOTALLY agree with the Republican concept of creating advantageous CORPORATE conditions. Unfortunately it is in large part the LABOR UNIONS of which I will have no part of that have driven many of our American Businesses to OUTSOURCE jobs.

Thanks for reading my rant!

Jud Epting
Nashville, TN

Dear Jud,
Thanks for your letter. It's always good to hear from Republicans and good of you to share your opinions and I trust that they bring you great satisfaction and comfort in these troubling times.

Dear Mr. Keillor,
What is the significance of your red socks?

Inquisitively,
Ken

Ken, they keep my feet warm.

Post to the Host:
I started reading Cat, You Better Come Home to my grandson Frankie, who just turned three. Before this book I could never hold his attention long enough to finish other books. And getting him to bed was a major task. Now all I have to do is hold up the book and he drops whatever he's doing and comes running. Bedtime is no longer a problem and Frankie reads the pages to me. It is a wonderful book that never bores us. I looked for more children's books authored by you and was only able to find The Old Man Who Loved Cheese. Are there more children's books authored by you?

Nancy Collins

Nancy,
The success is all in your performance, not in the book itself, though the artwork is pretty amazing, the cold glassy eyes of the cat, the pitiful paws on the frosty cold window, and so forth. I have another children's book coming out this fall, called Daddy's Girl. Maybe this one won't be for Frankie, though. Mostly it's for my daughter.

Mr. Keillor,
I've enjoyed the show for years; for that a hearty thanks. The past few years since 9/11 have been,to say the least, "odd" for many Americans. PHC has been a staple around our place because even if we occassionally felt the pin prick of having our own idiosyncracies paraded across the PHC stage, it wasn't like the acrimony and fear-mongering of so much of media, left and right, these days. We listened because even if we felt 'exposed' by your creative antics, still we felt respected.

Something's changed. I have come to realize that over the past year I've grown tense listening to PHC. I now sit enjoying a tune or a skit and then brace myself, awaiting the "oh isn't that witty" comment that cuts with acrimony and the above-it-all-snear at a President and his party who, believe it or not, may actually think they're doing the right thing. You have a platform and can do as you please I guess, but it seems that painting a one dimensional image of people you disagree with isn't very much in keeping with the spirit of Americana you do so well with otherwise. Please stop. Please don't grow cynical, that tempting addiction facing all who reach elderhood.

Then as light my Saturday night fire on the edge of the wood here in Maine, I won't have to brace for another typical media affront, I can get back to laughing at myself as well as those I may disagree with politically.

Warm, Earnest Regards,
Chris Finn
Hope, Maine

Chris,
Sorry you feel affronted by our little radio show. The political satire comprises a rather slender slice of what we do, but I can't argue with your feelings. I do however vigorously disagree with your suggestion that I am becoming cynical and that this is common with aging. You're wrong about that.

Dear Garrison,
My wife and I have enjoyed your show for as long as we can remember. I appreciate byour ability to poke fun at all of us, especially politicians. However, I think it's unfortunate that you don't give equal time to both political parties. While I agree that the President deserves considerable criticism, Senator Kerry should get his share, especially on a radio show that bills itself as
entertainment. If not, perhaps you could change the name of the show to "A Kerry Home Companion."

Jim Klusman
Lafayette, Indiana

Jim,
I'm sorry that I've offended you, I really am, but I don't know how to write in a fair and equally distributed way. I just write what I'm given to write. Thus, you hear a lot about Minnesota on the show and almost nothing about Indiana. Lots about Lutherans, very little about Presbyterians. Writers are biased. Anyway, I am. The President is easier to do, his voice, his style of speaking, and of course he has a track record. And when you do the President and get his voice as well as Tim Russell does, everybody laughs. Same as when he does Arnold Schwarzenegger. (Gray Davis didn't get laughs.) We've done Kerry a couple times, most recently in a funny segment called "Cooking With Kerry," which made fun of some of his locutions, but probably it didn't hit hard enough for your taste. What troubles me is how we're ever going to manage to live together in this country. If "A Prairie Home Companion" loses all its Republican listeners and our sponsors drop us and the show folds, that's okay by me — I'm retirement age anyway — but there's a war in this country over some basic American values and it won't be settled on November 2. We need more moderates.

GK,
I work in Europe with an international group of colleagues. In July, a nice Canadian colleague wished me a happy Independence Day. I almost replied, 'Happy Independence Day to you, too' when I remembered that Canadians don't have independence. Wanting to say something friendly in return, I wished him a happy Co-dependents day. Apparently that was not the correct thing - I guess I was absent when we had the Social Studies unit on Canada, or maybe that was one of the units Mrs. Martinez skipped so we could spend enough time on the Phillipines.

You went to school when people studied geography and really learned things about foreign lands. Any idea what would have been the right thing to say, besides 'Thank you'?

Nel

Well, there you are, Nel. Thank you. That's exactly the right thing to say when a Canadian says something pleasant about the U.S.A. You're confused about this only because Canadian compliments are so rare. Those buggers are bitter toward us and so he probably meant the greeting ironically and so you made the sharp retort. You would have done better to toss out a back-handed "Thank you" with a snide tone to it.

Goddag!
I'm a Norwegian Lutheran born and raised in Minnesota. Currently, I'm stationed in South Korea with a follow-on assignment to Alaska. Korea is a lot like Minnesota. The winters are bitter cold, the summers are mosquito-laden sweat sessions, and everyone is very pale.

I grew up the son of two librarians and your show was a staple of weekend life ever since I was old enough to say the Norwegian table prayer. In my travels, I've always found a way to listen to your show (now on American Forces Network via NPR World Wide). You can't imagine how it brings me back. Everything Minnesota comes flooding into my mind and I'm reminded of where I came from and who I am. Tusen Takk!

Staff Sergeant John P. McCoy
8th Explosive Ordnance Disposal
Kunsan Air Base, Republic of Korea

Dear SSgt McCoy, You were very well brought up by those librarians and that's evident in your graceful letter. It is warm without being overly generous. You say, for example, that the show was a "staple" of weekend life ---- which is not to say that it was brilliant or fantastic or awe-inspiring but that it was reliable, like oatmeal or dried apricots or rye bread. You say that I can't imagine how the show brings you back; you do not say that you enjoy being brought back or being reminded of where you come from. This is a very orwegian sort of fan letter. It implies admiration but doesn't go so far as to express it. I like that in a man.

Of course I wonder if joining the Army and getting into the business of disposing of explosive ordnance wasn't your exquisite rebellion against those wonderful librarians. Another boy might have taken up alcohol and fast women, or left-wing politics, or avant-garde poetry, but young Johnny McCoy struck terror into the hearts of his good Norwegian parents by enlisting in the Army and heading for the ammo dump and learning how to pull the fuses from bombs the size of Volkswagens. In any case, I wish you long life and good health and it's a real pleasure to think of you listening to the show, sir.

Hi Garrison,

I read the first 4 chapters of HOMEGROWN DEMOCRAT on your website today and found it quite enjoyable which now confuses me. I have often thought of myself as a Republican but now I think I am just more of a moderate leaning toward the conservative. I want to raise my kids the way I was raised in Red Wing, MN and you in Anoka. Do you think this is possible in this day and age?

Mike

Dear Mike, Parents are forced to be brave in behalf of their kids. We'd do anything for them: you look down at that infant in the hospital nursery and you realize that you have now met someone you love more than you love yourself. You'd dive into shark-infested waters for that kid. And I admire the folks ---- most of them conservatives, but some of them radical progressives ---- who have home-schooled their kids and maybe moved out of a bad environment and into one that seems friendlier to childhood developement. People have made all sorts of sacrifices for their kids' benefit, knowing that one can't be sure about the effects on the kids, knowing that good intentions sometimes come back to bite us. But, yes, there are places in this country where families live much as you and I were brought up. It's too bad that in today's odd economy, so few people have the freedom to live where they wish or give their kids what they need. We're heading toward an economy in which people commonly work sixty-hour weeks at low wages just to make ends meet. You see engineers and programmers and teachers working the windows of McDonald's and stocking the shelves at WalMart. On $8 an hour, you can't think too much about parenting, you can barely put food on the table and clothes on their backs.

Dear Garrison,
My name is Adam, I am 17, a student, living in London. Life seems so unpredictable to me. At the moment, the main topic on my mind has been death. I had never really come face to face with death before, and within this past month I have attended the funeral of my good friend's grandfather, and visited my own in hospital. I would call myself a Christian, but at the same time I have human thoughts and emotions about death. My mother tells me sometimes God's message isn't always clear, but we should look for it in those we love and look up to. Could you help me to understand this fear of mine?

Best regards and prayers,
Adam

Adam, What we have to fear in behalf of 17-year-olds is that feeling of flatness and despair, depression, emptiness, that may hide under the cover of detached coolness and that can set off self-destructive behavior, binge drinking, the whole panoply of dismal unhappy-making pharmaceuticals, suicide. What you are feeling, the fear of death, is sort of the opposite of that, and is a result of your heightened sense of life. The knowledge of the beauty of this world is intense in you. Your eyes are open, all your senses, the power of the mystery ----- maybe as it was for me a few years ago the night my daughter was born and I held her, a little six-pound creature, bright dark eyes, tiny fingers and legs moving, and afterward I walked around Manhattan in a terrifically heightened state of awareness, every block and every corner showed me some amazing thing, I looked into every human face with intense wonder. And I was terrified of death at that moment, hers, my wife’s, my own. With the feeling of great blessing comes the fear of it being taken away. You can pray for peace and understanding, you can read the Scriptures for insight into these things, but try to push yourself to live life fully and proceed confidently in the direction of your dreams ---- pursue the truth and put yourself in the presence of beauty --- and when death comes near, you won’t feel fear entirely, you’ll also feel gratitude for your good life. Thanks for prompting me to think about this.

Dear GK:

What happened? Once, you were on the radio. Then, I heard you died. Or retired or something. And now you're on the radio again. Don't get me wrong; I love your wit, your talent, and your show, and I never want it to end, but could you please explain yourself?

--Ray Quintana (pronounced Keen-tah'-nah)

Ray, I was on the radio and then in 1987, in a fit of exhaustion, I brought the show to an end. I moved away and lived in Copenhagen for awhile and in New York and wrote for The New Yorker and worked on a novel. One fine autumn day I was in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, walking around the battlefield, near where Pickett’s troops began their terrible charge across the cornfield against General Meade, and a man called out to me and said, “When are you coming back to radio?” He said this in a sort of matter of fact way, and it stuck with me. A few months later, Minnesota Public Radio asked if I wanted to start a new show from New York, so I did ---- it was called “The American Radio Company” and it had a big rollicking band called The Coffee Club Orchestra (which went on to stardom in the musical “Chicago”) and we did a few seasons from the Brooklyn Academy of Music, Symphony Space, and the Lambs Club ---- and then we brought it back home to the Fitzgerald Theater in St. Paul. And renamed it “A Prairie Home Companion,” which was what it really was. And here we are. Marriage, divorce, and remarriage to the same woman. Life is good. Glad you caught up with us.

Dear Garrison,
You don't seem to be much of a car guy, I don't ever hear you say much about them. My dad is a car guy, he can tell you more about which car he was driving which year than he can tell you about anything any of us kids were doing in that same year. But I don't hold that against him. I just bought the sexiest sports car ever. It makes you want to put on a classy business suit with a really short skirt, high heels and maybe some pearls. Well, if you're a woman, that is.

What was your favorite car ever, and what do you drive now? Does Guy Noir have a car? I see him as a kind of Plymouth type. Sedan.

Your faithful listener,
Nancy

Nancy, you’re right, I’m not a car guy, though I do love driving. Last November, I got to do a lecture tour in northern California and got to drive around through the redwoods and the almond ranches and along U.S. 1 on the coast, the greatest drive in the country, and one morning, loading up the trunk at a motel in Davis, I thought to myself how much my dad would’ve loved that trip. He was a Ford man, though, and I was driving a rental Buick. My favorite car was a red Mustang I owned through the late Sixties. I was newly married, twentysomething, living in south Minneapolis, and my wife and I liked to drive down along the Mississippi from Prescott, Wisconsin, south to Lake Pepin. I had longish hair and wore jeans and white shirts and tweed sportcoats and drove with the window open, smoking, listening to the Beach Boys, the Beatles, and the Stones. We’d eat at a roadhouse in Stockholm or Wabasha and come home. These days, I drive a Saab station wagon, but I don’t go anywhere in it. I work at home a lot, I buy my clothes from Landsend.com, my wife and I go out to eat at restaurants in the neighborhood, and I really miss driving. I have a friend in Duluth and another in Minneota and another in northern Wisconsin and I keep meaning to get in the car and drive and see them, and I don’t do it. But I will. For sure I will when my daughter gets big enough to sit in the front seat with me and read a map. The summer after she turns twelve, I’d love to take her on a long car trip out west and down the California coast to L.A. and take Route 66 to the Grand Canyon and take that great drive up through Durango, Colorado, and over the Rockies, and then head home through Nebraska and Iowa. I look forward to that. Guy Noir drives a late-model Plymouth sedan. (How did you know?) It’s a loaner, given him by a guy named Rocky who had to leave town and who has never returned. The passenger seat is full of debris, hamburger pods, empty Dr. Pepper cans, old Racing Forms, and cigarette butts with lipstick smears on the filters.