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Dear Garrison, I have decided

June 21, 2004 |

Dear Garrison,
I have decided to take your advice and stop shopping so strenuously for a life companion. I watch my friends torture themselves with Internet dating and other excruciating stabs at making a connection with a "soul mate" and think that I just don't care to work at it that hard. As you said, it's not like picking a book off the shelf. Not like shopping from a catalog either, although I have to admit to wishing I could order one of those guys in the Lands' End catalog.

No, I think I'll keep doing what I do and going where I go and enjoying the day. I plan to take a sailing class just because it interests me. So many times lately I've seen how things I need are provided when I need them. I was at a yard sale on Saturday and a friend was selling her dryer for $25. Her washer had gone out and so they bought a new set. What is it with people whose washer and dryer have to match? I don't get that. Unless it's in your living room, why does it matter? I just want one with a real knob you can use to turn it on, and not have to use pliers as we've had to do for years now. One that doesn't groan and scream as it dries the clothes--as if it's protesting that it would really rather be doing something else. One that doesn't leave black grease marks on all your whites--especially that new white shirt you just bought and all the white sheets, even the flannels.

So I bought it, and took it home, and we're all happy. I figure that when the universe dictates that I'm ready to try the relationship thing again I'll look up and some guy will be standing there smiling goofily at me like he's just seen his first Corvette. Until then, life is grand. It could be a lot worse, don't you think?

Your show is one of the simple pleasures I enjoy. Keep up the good work.

Nancy in Georgia

Nancy,
I'm glad you got the new dryer. I have an awful one that won't dry anything and just heats up the wet clothes and I have to spread them over chairs and hope that unexpected company doesn't come. As for the guy, I think you should keep your flirting skills in good shape and enjoy mingling with men and reading their minds. If you have gay friends, you can practice flirting on them and they can give you a critique. But you're right, life is pretty grand. We'd finally getting summer here in St. Paul and we're bowled over by it. We had twenty people over to the house on Sunday and my wife and her friends played chamber music in the house and my friends and I sat outside under an awning and were dazed with pleasure. I've never been so boring in my life. Just sat and respirated and drank mineral water.

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