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Dear Mr. Keillor: I believe

March 26, 2004 |

Dear Mr. Keillor:
I believe it may be time for you to give up wearing Hyde Brooklyn Bowlers and widen your horizions, dude! Try Birkenstocks. Wear them with thick cotton socks and keep an extra pair of socks in your coat pocket for when the ones on your feet get wet. The feeling of freedom and extreme bliss that you will get from letting your feet express themselves as God MEANT THEM TO ----I have only your welfare in mind.


Dear Lenna,
Bless you for thinking of my welfare, but I am not a sandal type of guy. I go for what we used to call "dress shoes" or "street shoes," as opposed to "gym hoes". Nowadays people wear gym shoes everywhere, unless they're lawyers or U.S. Senators or mafiosi, because people find gym shoes more comfortable. My Brooklyn Bowlers are sort of like gym shoes except they're black and made of leather, so they pass for street shoes. A perfect deal. I just have to watch eBay for some size 13 Brooklyn Bowlers to come on the market. Meanwhile, I'm being careful not to step into puddles.

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