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When do Guys Become Normal?

October 5, 2003 | No Comments

Dear Mr Keillor,
I am a ninth grader at an all girls school. This gives me limited access to the opposite gender. And I must say, they confuse me. Any advice for me? What do I do to get guys to pay attention to me? Should I be upfront? If I act too jokey and pally around them, will they never consider asking me out because I'm too much like a friend? And most importantly, when do guys become like normal human beings?
—Chattanooga

Dear Chat,
You get guys to pay attention to you by not paying attention to them. Indifference works, every time, and usually it attracts the guys you'd want to be attracted, guys with some intelligence and curiosity. It's fine to be jokey and goofy but do it on your own terms, not theirs. Don't be upfront at all, girl. Be mysterious and aloof. Practice the Drop Dead Look. Guys are fascinated by this. Bozos are put off by it, but intelligent guys find it amusing. Guys can be stupid in groups (so can girls be) and when you catch them alone, they're usually pretty normal. Thank you for your interest in my gender, and good luck, girl.