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September 2, 2003 |

Dear Garrison,
I'm a member of a Unitarian church located in a soybean field a few miles north of Bowling Green, Ohio. Even though we're lay-led, some of the members would like to hire a minister.

If this radio thing doesn't work out, would you be interested?

Steve Israel
Maumee Valley Unitarian Universalist Congregation
Bowling Green, Ohio

I am honored to be considered, even if you're joking, but I wouldn't fit in. Beneath this cool tolerant exterior beats the heart of an old reactionary and pulpit-pounder and if you ever put me in front of Unitarians with a microphone, I'd be hollering about man's inherent sinfulness and unworthiness and singing "Are You Washed In the Blood". I'd be roaming the aisles, poking people, baying like a dog. It wouldn't be a pretty sight. The radio thing isn't working out, as a matter of fact, and probably in a few weeks I'll be unemployed, but I would be a piss-pour minister. Trust me on this.

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