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Lake Wobegon Funerals

July 3, 2003 |

Hi Garrison,

As a funeral director I have often wondered what fine establishment serves Lake Wobegon. Have there been any funerals of late in L.W.? Were the sermons inspiring? Were the lunches after funeral in the church basement done with hot dishes?

Dying to know,
Jeffrey Thimell

Mr. Lindbergh up at the mortuary is waiting by the phone, ready to serve, and yes, there have been funerals lately, but nobody's who was a friend of mine, so I haven't seen fit to mention them. The lunches would sometimes include a hot dish, perhaps a favorite of the deceased, but the entrée is sandwiches, bologna and cheese and maybe tuna salad. And a full array of condiments. And nectar. A modest but oddly satisfying meal, suitable for a time of grief. You don't put a loved one into the ground and then whoop it up with barbecued ribs and a case of beer. Not here you don't.

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