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Recently, Public Insight Network sources have been sharing their stories about some of the most awkward conversations they’ve had. Thanks to the ideas we’ve received, we’re now planning an occasional series for Marketplace Money in which we’ll explore some of these challenging topics. Maybe it’s not shocking, but a lot of those conversations are about the connection between money and relationships.
One area we want to explore is marriage and divorce. Has your life been touched by divorce in some way? If you or close family members have gone through a divorce, what were some of the most challenging conversations from that time? Click here to share your experience and your advice for others.
After my divorce, my sister in law asked me, in front of my son, if the divorce had made me “happy”. I could not believe it. I got divorced because our marriage counselor suspected my husband of child sex abuse. I took a problem I could not handle and turned it into one I thought I could manage. At least, I got my ex out of the house. Most people assume you get divorced for no real reason. When you have a real reason, then they give you a hard time over getting married in the first place. Financially, I’m better off. He was spending a lot of money on himself.
My husband and I were never a team financially. I sold my condo and moved into his house (which became ours and I put my name on the deed). He demanded that I give him the money from the sale of my condo (this was in 2004). I refused and he threatened to divorce me. But he wasn’t working at that time and my income was going to support us, so I was going to use the money to help pay our bills. He argued that I should pay him for half the equity in the house! That was the first “red flag” of a slow but gradual decline in our financial relationship. 6 years later, after much financial misdeeds on his part (for example, taking out secret credit card debt to invest in high risk stocks in the market, losing every penny and amassing $30,000 in credit card debt) we divorced. I agreed to take on $60,000 of debt, but the bleeding has stopped and the anchor around my neck is off. I am no longer drowning and I can swim freely to shore. I can be happy again.
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Years ago I was married to someone else who was abusive. After two years I left my husband on the day that we married. He was at work, and I rented a moving truck.I left him with a bed, refrigerator, stove, dining room table and chairs.I should of taken him to the cleaners, I didn’t. He had broken my nose and ribs in this marriage.
Unfortunately, I married someone similiar to my father more than 34 years ago. He had a drinking problem and was abusive as well. After growing up in a dysfunctional home, I didn’t know the difference. After two years I woke up.