Getting around in Chongqing
Posted by Yu Xiumei on Monday, January 16, 2006
CHINESE ETIQUETTE LESSON III: GETTING TO THE BOTTOM OF GANBEI... OR "BOTTOMS UP" IN ENGLISH
When Chinese offer you a drink, they always start with "Ganbei." It means "bottoms up," and they mean it literally. If you accept, what follows will be endless "Ganbei" until you don't know who you are!
Walking around a back alley with my American colleague in Chongqing, people were sitting outdoors doing business, playing cards, and drinking alcohol. A foreign visitor in this district is very rare, so my American colleague drew great attention. A group of old men were sitting around a table drinking alcohol from rice bowls.
One of the men who looked a little bit drunk suddenly raised his bowl to my American colleague. My colleague must have heard somewhere that you must take it and empty it to be polite, so he came over to take it and emptied it.
What he didn't know is that's a sign you accept this guy as your buddy. Suddenly all the other old men all stood up and held up their bowls. They were very surprised a foreigner would like to make friends with them, people who live a humble life in a back alley!
But my colleague wouldn't play. He embarrassedly ran away.
Chinese, especially men, like to drink alcohol for fun and as a way to make friends.
The host pours alcohol for you. According to Chinese drinking custom, if you finish the first cup in one gulp, it's a sign that you are capable to drink a lot. So the host will keep filling your cup and will not let you go until you're completely drunk. This is his way of showing his sincerity to become friends with you.
Well, it's normally okay if you are big drinker! But in case you are not, like my colleague who escaped, you should not empty the first cup in one gulp.
Instead, you should say "thank you for your invitation, but I'm not able to drink alcohol, let's just sip it little by little," and the host will agree. You can not take the first gulp at the beginning and later say "sorry I can't drink more." It'll give your host the message you are not willing to become buddies with him.
It was not polite for my colleague to run away, who actually was trying to be polite... but instead he ended up leaving those old men holding their bowls, with mouths open.
There is also a rule for the host. If the guest demonstrates he's a big drinker, the host should not stop filling the cup for the guest, and must accompany the drinking game till the end. Otherwise the guest will think the host is insincere.
That's why sometimes a host who is not able to hold alcohol will bring several big drinkers with him when he entertains.
There are lots of rules about taking alcohol at different occasions. And drinking rules are different in different parts of the country. If anyone is interested in learning more about Chinese drinking culture, I'll come up with more interesting "rules."
Hey, you want to know what a visiting foreigner who can't drink should do?
"Cheers!"
Comments
I can't find a blogsite for Scott Tong's "urbanization and Migrant Workers" so please excuse me for piggybacking here.
Scott reports that Hsu Shiqing [Xu Shiqing?] makes $10 US per day, "which places him at the bottom of the economic ladder".
$10 US a day is 80 renminbi (yuan) or 2,400 yuan per month. I live in Kunming, which may have a lower average income than Chongqing, but I seriously doubt that 2,400 a month places anyone in China at the bottom of the ladder. Here we have shoeshiners who earn 1 yuan a shine, roadside peddlers who are lucky to make 10 yuan a day, let alone $10 US, ragpickers, etc. etc. These people are truly at the bottom of the ladder. Mr. Xu, as evidenced by the $4,000 US house in his home village, is quite a few rungs above the bottom.
John Israel
Kunming
I loved this posting. I am an American chef beginning Mandarin classes in two days, and these sorts of cultural snapshots are what fascinate me (particularly those relating to food and drink). I would love to hear other stories that you have to share. Thanks again for posting this one.
I'm hoping to visit Beijing this summer for an intensive language program. Your reports like this are incredibly insightful and particularly exciting. I can't wait to share a drink with a new friend. Ganbei!
The post is great! I'm a Chinese who have been in the U.S for over 6 years and start to forget the way I used to drink in China for business, entertainment, and happiness! I think I will forward this post to my American buddies so that I can "Guan (4)" them or get "Guan-ed", hehe!
Andrew, if you are excited about sharing a drink with a new friend in Beijing, you won't regret your trip at all 'cause that is what you will get! You will share a lot of drinks when you start to make friends in China!
Ha!At the table,people have a lot of reasons to persuade you to drink. If you are not a big drinker, just pretend you do not understand or just ignore them. Or you will definitely lie under the table without knowing who you are at the end.
Haha, There are some difference in China when you are dealing with others. I can list some here:
1. You should show you are willing to give your cigar to the friends if you smoke before them. You may get turned down if your friends don't smoke. This is being changed some what though since many people realize the smoking is harmful.
2. When you accept "ganbei", then you have to bottom up, otherwise, your friends may use the excuse to ask you to drink more. For example, your friends may say it is not impolite if you drink all of them (actually, it will not hurt your friendship), you should drink another cup to make up.
In my hometown, if you are late for the party, then you have to drink at least 3 cups before others start to drink. If you say you really don't drink, you may ask for some substitute, for example, some weaker alchole.
If you happen to sit around table with others who are at higher "generation" (Generation is a different concept with American's. I can explain a little bit later), you have to "ganbei" with others one by one. That means you maybe have to drink 7 cups while others only drink one. (At most 8 people can sit a round one dinner table in China. There some exeptions though). In this case, you'd better pretend not to drink. Otherwise you can imagine the result.
3. Traditionally, Chinese call others "Lao + his family name" if the guy who is called is older. "Lao" his means old. This is a polite way when you call you friends in China. But it could be offensive in US since everyone here like to be younger.
Chinese may call others "uncle", "grandfather", "Grandmother" or such even they don't share anything in their bloodhood. This is another polite way to call others who is much older than you. It is impolite to call others' name directly if the person who is called is much older than you.
Ok, Lets come to "generation" concetp. Many Chinese keep their family trees. There are usually three characters in a Chinese name. The first character is his family name (This is different with Americans. Some say that's because Family is more important in China, and sometimes the individual interest maybe ignored). The second character usually stands for his generation. There is a order for a family name. From the character you can decide if you are at higher or lower generation than aother people who has the same family name even he is a stranger. So generation ranking doesn't always consist with the ages. The third charater is his real name which was given by his parents. This is changing in China now. Many people simply only has two characters in his name (family name + given name), or use any characters he likes as the second character in his name.
Please, please provide more etiquette for dummies. I want to avoid a faux pas when I return to China.
I enjoyed reading your blog and hope you will continue even though the series is over.
Kunming
Posted by: John Israel at January 16, 2006 06:30 PM