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LUNCH ON THE SIDEWALK: How Embarassing!

Posted by Yu Xiumei on Monday, December 12, 2005

When I was with our scouting team traveling in Wan Zhou for story about Three gorges Dam relocation of farmers, an environmentalist and an local NGO guy accompanied the Marketplace crew. After we finished a simple lunch in a sidewalk restaurant, the most embarrassing moment came. American colleagues were discussing who should pay the bill and how to share the bill.

For Chinese it looked really impolite - for such simple and cheap lunch foreigners had to discuss how much each should pay. The environmentalist almost offered to pay the small bill to show his discontent. He asked me "Are they short of cash? if so, we can pay the bill." He did not really mean he want to pay the bill, it's actually a sarcastic attitude to show he wants to insult them. I stopped him and was trying hard to explain American's custom. But it's still hard for him to understand - how come rich Americans discussing to pay such a cheap bill in front of their guests!

Clearly, my American collages hadn't read the "Chinese Etiquette for Dummies."

Here is the rule.

The payment should be done fast by the host at the end of the meal and not questioning about the price detaiL. If you are hesitating or checking whether they added the bill correctly in front of your guests, it's a sign for Chinese that you're not sincere to invite him/her, and you think the meal too expensive! The guests are not worth it. Chinese way of paying: pay it no matter how much it is to show how generous you are to your guests.

In some cities like Beijing and Shanghai sometimes young people go Dutch. In Chinese we call it "AA" because we imported that idea from western countries. Can anyone tell me what "AA" means?

OK. Come back next week for lesson two!

Comments please! Xiao Yu, Beijing Bureau Assistant.


Comments

Chinese Etiquette for Dummies would be a great book. Xiao Yu you need to contact the publisher of the Dummies series in the US. Didn't NYTimes report that China is the top destination for US students who study abroad now? Chinese for Dummies would be a great companion book to Lonely Planet. :) Cultural difference aside, why do Chinese expect rich foreigners not to be cheap? In the knockoff markets in Beijing and Shanghai, laowai (foreigners) are the most aggressive bargainers for fake North Face jackets once they get the hang of the haggling game. Personally, as a poor (ok not that poor) filmmaker I welcome the Chinese-style hospitality, which means when I dine with my rich friends I seldom have to foot the bill. :)
Posted by: China Fool at December 15, 2005 9:47 PM
Hao a!
I am planning a trip to Northern China, Beijing. I am looking forward to reading your articles on Chinese customs and etiquette. Do not know what "AA" means.
Zaijian, zaijian.
Posted by: A. Lee at December 21, 2005 11:04 PM
It would be more polite of you to consider that you Chinese only consider your own customs; even when you are in the US! or in other countries. If Americans in China wish to follow POLITE American customs among themselves, they should not be insulted by such commentaries. Americans often consider it an INSULT to expect someone else to pay for us (unless this is agreed in advance); we are an independent people and believe we should each be able to take care of ourselves so we do not burden our friends and co-workers. You Chinese should try to be more tolerant of the customs of other people.
Posted by: t at December 23, 2005 4:10 PM
seems you are unwilling to include differing viewpoints yet are quite willing to distribute insulting commentary
Posted by: 1 at December 24, 2005 7:25 AM
I lived in America for quite a long time and I usually just follow American ways of etiquette when I have some good time with my American friends and colleagues. But when I go back to China for visit I follow Chinese customes and etiquette. Certainly there's nothing wrong with either one of customs. Personally I think it's all about where you are standing at and who you are dealing with. When I'm in US, I wouldn't expect my American friends pay me free lunch unless they agreed in advance. On the other hand it'd let my Chinese friend embarassed if I insist to pay my own share when they invite me for the lunch in China.
Posted by: dragonwave at January 25, 2006 3:06 PM

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