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« Thanks For The Memories | Main | Vote For Fred »

August 3, 2005

How to Pronounce "Stanozolol"

Start with “Stan” … as in "Stan the Man” Musial … the great St. Louis Cardinals star who ranks among the best hitters in baseball history. Musial was a great hitter, but not a great slugger until he was 26. That year – 1948 – he hit 39 home runs … more than double what he’d hit in his best season to date. Musial paid a price for power, but it was cheap … : About ten extra strikeouts a year for an additional ten to 15 home runs. Musial hit 475 home runs in his 23 years in the majors … not bad for a guy who topped out at 6’ 0” and 175 pounds. Maybe Musial could have hit more if he’d been bulked up on steroids, but in his day, the biggest performance enhancer was a thick T-bone steak.

Put emphasis on “Oz” … as in the “Wizard of Oz” – the Cardinals' Ozzie Smith. Would steroids have made Ozzie’s glove more steady? His hands faster? His feet more agile? Maybe … but Ozzie chose to use a different performance enhancer … : Thousands and thousands of ground balls during practice.

Then comes a long “O” … as in “Oriole” … like Brooks Robinson, Frank Robinson, Eddie Murray and Cal Ripken … the quartet of Hall of Fame Oriole sluggers who would become a quintet if Rafael Palmeiro is elected. Baltimore has had ten teams reach the post-season. Each one had a Brooks or Frank Robinson, a Murray or a Ripken on the roster. By the way ... : All four players depended on a performance enhancer. It was called a “uniform.”

And finally “Lol” … as in “lots of luck” … which is what Rafael Palmeiro will need to make the Hall of Fame now that a source tells “The New York Times” that the Oriole first-baseman tested positive for the notorious steroid stanozolol.

Posted by Nick Roman at 8:37 AM


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