From the Joke Collection
A guy walks OUT of a bar, completely soused. He staggers over to his car, drops his keys several times, and is trying to open the door when a cop grabs him by the shoulder and spins him around, shining a flashlight in his face.
"Your eyes are bloodshot!" exclaims the cop. "Have you been drinking?"
The drunk suddenly grabs the flashlight and shines it in the cop's face, yelling "Your eyes are glazed! Have you been eating donuts?" ”