Pretty Good Jokes

Ethnic Jokes

Ole told Sven that he had a terrible pain in his elbow and didn't know what to do.
"Go down to dat new valgreen drug store. Dey haf a new machine der dat is amazing. You put some urine in it and gif it ten dollars. It vill tell you effery ting dat is vrong vit you,"replied Sven.
Ole went to the drugstore, put some urine in the machine and deposited ten dollars in it. The bells rang and the lights flashed. Out came a piece of paper. It read; Ole, you have tennis elbow. Take two aspirin twice a day and keep you arm in a sling. It will be better in a week.
Ole went home and thought about that machine all night. By golly, aye vonder if aye can fool dat machine? He thought to himself.
The next morning his wife came down for breakfast. "Go pee in dis can," said Ole. Then his daughter came down for breakfast. "You go pee in da can too," he said.
Ole added some water to the can. He looked out the window and saw his dog pooping in the yard. He went and added the poop in the can. Down to the drugstore he went. He put his ten dollars in the machine and poured in the smelly mixture. The lights flashed and the bells rang and out came the piece of paper.
Ole, it read; You have hard water, get a water softener. Your dog has worms, get him to the vet. Your daughter is on drugs, get her into rehab, and your wife is pregnant, it's not yours. Get a lawyer.

—Bill Nelson, Escanaba, Michigan

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