One snowy morning Micky Mouse went to fetch the morning newspaper from his front porch, and he was horrified to see that someone had not only urinated in the snow in his yard, but had spelled "MICKY SUCKS" in big yellow letters!

Micky called the local sheriff to investigate, and about a week later the sheriff said he had some good news and some bad news. Micky asked what the good news was.

"Well," said the sheriff, "Our genetic analysis of the urine shows that it comes from your friend, Goofy."

Micky was shocked. "I can't believe Goofy would do such a thing! He's one of my oldest pals! For Heaven's sake, what's the BAD news?"

The sheriff answered, "Well, it was Minnie's handwriting."

—Chuck Anziulewicz, Charleston, West Virginia