You know you're from the South if...

You think the last words to the Star-Spangled Banner is "Gentlemen, start your engines..."

You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table... in front of her kids.

You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.

The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.

Last year you hid Easter eggs under cow pies.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

Jack Daniel's makes your list of "Most Admired People."

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey, y'all watch this!"

—Jonathan Phipps, Crumpler, North Carolina