Pretty Good Jokes

From the Joke Collection
Ollie and Lena

They lived by da lake in Minnesota.

It vas early vinter and da lake had froze over.

He asked her if she vould valk across da lake

to da yeneral store to get him some beer.

She asked him for some money, but he told her,

"Nah, yust put it on our tab."

So she valked across the lake, got the beer at da yeneral store,

den walked back home across the lake.

Ven she got home and gave him his beer, she asked him,

"You alvays tell me not to run up da tab at da store.

Why didn't you yust give me some money?"

He replied, "Vell, I didn't vant to send you out dere vit money

ven I vasn't sure how tick the ice vas yet."


—Barney Boyd, Indianapolis, Indiana

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Audio Highlights

Audio Highlights
From the 5/18 show
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=00:03:35.0&endtime=00:08:44.0&link_text=Duquesne%20Whistle" %}
    Duquesne Whistle- GK and Holly Jones with Shoes
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=00:08:44.0&endtime=00:22:05.0&link_text=Guy%20Noir" %}
    Guy Noir script (with Ira Glass)
    Watch
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=00:24:11.0&endtime=00:27:33.0&link_text=Let%20the%20Good%20Times%20Roll" %}
    Let the Good Times Roll- Jearlyn Steele and Jevetta Steele with Shoes
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=00:30:48.0&endtime=00:34:48.0&link_text=She%20Left%20Me%20Cold" %}
    She Left Me Cold- The Derailers
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=00:34:48.0&endtime=00:38:15.0&link_text=The%20Way%20You%20Move" %}
    The Way You Move- The Derailers
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=00:38:15.0&endtime=00:50:42.0&link_text=The%20Lives%20of%20the%20Cowboys" %}
    Cowboys script (with Ira Glass)
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=00:51:54.0&endtime=00:55:43.0&link_text=You're%20All%20I%20Need%20to%20Get%20By" %}
    You're All I Need to Get By- Jearlyn Steele and Jevetta Steele with Shoes
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=01:12:11.0&endtime=01:15:59.0&link_text=Too%20Far%20Gone" %}
    Too Far Gone- GK, Holly, Shoes
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=01:16:54.0&endtime=01:19:40.0&link_text=Meat%20Loaf" %}
    Meat Loaf- Pat Donohue and Shoe Band
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  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=01:26:17.0&endtime=01:28:14.0&link_text=Careless%20Love" %}
    Careless Love- Pat Donohue, Steve Strand Gary Raynor
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=01:41:17.0&endtime=01:44:16.0&link_text=Soothe%20Me" %}
    Soothe Me- Jearlyn Steele, Jevetta Steele, Shoes
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=01:44:16.0&endtime=01:48:11.0&link_text=SFX" %}
    SFX script
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=01:52:18.0&endtime=01:54:52.0&link_text=Cafe%20Boeuf" %}
    Café Boeuf script
    Watch
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=01:28:14.0&endtime=01:41:17.0&link_text=News%20From%20Lake%20Wobegon" %}
    download
    subscribe
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=00:00:00.0&endtime=01:59:00.0&link_text=Listen%20to%20the%20Whole%20Show" %}

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How About Even More Jokes?

This 2-CD collection brings you the best jokes and sketches featured on four recent editions (11/6/2004, 2/3/2007, 3/8/2008 & 11/1/2008). Joining Garrison Keillor in the laughs are Sue Scott, Tim Russell, Tom Keith along with special guests.

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