Pretty Good Jokes

Men&Women Jokes
After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The downtown luxury apartment was in his name and he wanted to remain there with his new love so he asked the wife to move out and then he would buy her another place. The wife agreed to this, but asked that she be given 3 days on her own there to pack up her things.

While he was gone the first day, she lovingly put her personal belongings into boxes and crates and suitcases. On the second day she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day she sat down for the last time at their candlelit dining table, soft music playing in the background, and feasted on a pound of shrimp and a bottle of chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each room and deposited a few of the resulting shrimp shells into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

The husband came back with his new girl and all was bliss for the first few days. Then it started, slowly but surely. Clueless, the man could not explain why the place smelled so bad. They tried everything; cleaned and mopped and aired the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, carpets were steam cleaned, air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in, the carpets were replaced, and on it went.

Finally, they could take it no more and decided to move. The moving company arrived and did a very professional packing job, taking everything to their new home...including the curtain rods.


—marvin purser, hollywood, Florida

Submit a Joke!

* indicates required field

*
*
*
*
*
*
 





 



 

Note: Children under the age of 13 must have a parent or guardian's consent before submitting a joke.

THE FINE PRINT: All submitted jokes are reviewed by A Prairie Home Companion staff, may be edited for length, clarity, or content and may be posted on other American Public Media Web sites. For further information, please consult our Terms of Use.

 

More from the Show

Upcoming Shows

July 4-6: St. Paul, MN

TICKETS AVAILABLE »

A Prairie Home Companion's 40th Anniversary Celebration

August 29: Minnesota State Fair, Falcon Heights, MN

TICKETS AVAILABLE »

With Special Guest: Aoife O'Donovan

Browse Jokes

Like the Joke Show?
How About Even More Jokes?

This 2-CD collection brings you the best jokes and sketches featured on four recent editions (11/6/2004, 2/3/2007, 3/8/2008 & 11/1/2008). Joining Garrison Keillor in the laughs are Sue Scott, Tim Russell, Tom Keith along with special guests.

More Info»
Subscribe to the weekly Prairie Home Companion newsletter for a preview of each week's show, audio highlights, recent columns and more
A Prairie Home Companion on Facebook
A Prairie Home Companion on Twitter
American Public Media © |   Terms and Conditions   |   Privacy Policy