Pretty Good Jokes

Men&Women Jokes
An elder lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when, all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be ganted three wishes. "Well, now," says the old lady, "I guess I would like to be really, reallty rich.." ***POOF*** Her rocking fchair turns to solid gold. She smiles and says, "Gee,I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess." ***POOF*** She turns into a beautiful young woman. "Your third wish?" asks the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. "Ooh...can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks. ***POOF*** There before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possible imagine. She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak. He saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear: "Bet you're sorry you had me neutered!"


—Charlie Kenyon, Freeland, MI, Michigan

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Audio Highlights

Audio Highlights
From the 5/18 show
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=00:03:35.0&endtime=00:08:44.0&link_text=Duquesne%20Whistle" %}
    Duquesne Whistle- GK and Holly Jones with Shoes
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=00:08:44.0&endtime=00:22:05.0&link_text=Guy%20Noir" %}
    Guy Noir script (with Ira Glass)
    Watch
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=00:24:11.0&endtime=00:27:33.0&link_text=Let%20the%20Good%20Times%20Roll" %}
    Let the Good Times Roll- Jearlyn Steele and Jevetta Steele with Shoes
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=00:30:48.0&endtime=00:34:48.0&link_text=She%20Left%20Me%20Cold" %}
    She Left Me Cold- The Derailers
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=00:34:48.0&endtime=00:38:15.0&link_text=The%20Way%20You%20Move" %}
    The Way You Move- The Derailers
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=00:38:15.0&endtime=00:50:42.0&link_text=The%20Lives%20of%20the%20Cowboys" %}
    Cowboys script (with Ira Glass)
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=00:51:54.0&endtime=00:55:43.0&link_text=You're%20All%20I%20Need%20to%20Get%20By" %}
    You're All I Need to Get By- Jearlyn Steele and Jevetta Steele with Shoes
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=01:15:59.0&endtime=01:16:54.0&link_text=Too%20Far%20Gone" %}
    Too Far Gone- GK, Holly, Shoes
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=01:16:54.0&endtime=01:19:40.0&link_text=Meat%20Loaf" %}
    Meat Loaf- Pat Donohue and Shoe Band
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  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=01:26:17.0&endtime=01:28:14.0&link_text=Careless%20Love" %}
    Careless Love- Pat Donohue, Steve Strand Gary Raynor
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=01:41:17.0&endtime=01:44:16.0&link_text=Soothe%20Me" %}
    Soothe Me- Jearlyn Steele, Jevetta Steele, Shoes
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=01:44:16.0&endtime=01:48:11.0&link_text=SFX" %}
    SFX script
  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=01:52:18.0&endtime=01:54:52.0&link_text=Cafe%20Boeuf" %}
    Café Boeuf script
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  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=01:28:14.0&endtime=01:41:17.0&link_text=News%20From%20Lake%20Wobegon" %}
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  • {% fetch file="http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/get_player.php?audio=phc/2013/05/18/phc_20130518_128&type=POPUP&starttime=00:00:00.0&endtime=01:59:00.0&link_text=Listen%20to%20the%20Whole%20Show" %}

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